losing self

i've gone from 151lbs to a big, whopping 148lbs. i never would have believed it, but i haven't been under 150 in something like forever. so the diet works. just not fast enough for me, and just not when "flo" is visiting. i'm still going to work on it. i still haven't used my pilates ring, but i'm going to start. and as soon as i can buy the meds for my knee again, maybe i can hop back on the treadmill. i really used to enjoy running, when i was in high school and junior college, but now, just walking up and down stairs is killer for my knee. damn bipartite patella thing.

anyway, what's going on? i'm just really tired. i haven't been going to bed at 9p like i'm supposed to. i've got a lot of stuff on my mind - some good, some bad. overall, it's been a tiring week. tgit, eh buddy? (thank god it's thursday)

plans this weekend...i think i'm supposed to be going to do something with landon (was that this weekend that we talked about?), and i'm pretty sure i'm going to be going out to see my family. amy's birthday was two days ago:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMY!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

so, hopefully we're going to get to hang out this weekend and have a tiny party. even though i have no money for presents. but that's normal. because i'm lame. i might see if i can swing by one of the shops in homewood, like savage's or something, and get her one of those awesome cakes they make. that stuff tastes like they stuffed a bunch of angels, some clouds, a sprinkle of Heaven and a dash of Jesus into a blender and then, baked it into a cake. but then again, i think i'd love cake if it was....well, without adding in some grotesque imagery, i'm pretty sure you get my drift.

it's boring at work today. i have one kyphoplasty at noon today, and i really like doing those, but then again, i'm a big, giant nerd-face, when it comes to the c-arm and surgery. you get to use two c-arms (i'm already getting chills, just thinking about it), and you have to come in at two different angles over the bed. then you keep one in the AP position and turn the other one to the lateral position, and you stay poised that way for the whole case. anyone who already does x-ray is probably like, "god, what a FREAK OF NATURE." well, you're right.

i was asked yesterday, by "someone," if i would like to come work in their office, when their practice gets started. they want me to take all the diagnostic films (which blows), but also come and do all their c-arm stuff in surgery (which rawks). i said, "as long as the money's right, and you take care of me, i'll do whatever you want me to do...within reason." much laughter ensued, along with some racy comments, but only one of us was kidding. i'm no longer sure which of us that was. and i don't want to mention names, to save face from embarrassment. needless to say, it's nice to know that someone recognizes my talents. well, dr gould does. i always make him tell me how much he loves me before i get started. it makes everyone else gag, but it makes me laugh. if he were any more good-looking than he already is *cough cough*, people would be accusing us of having an affair, since there's always got to be some gossip going around.

it's just that people down there always have to cop an attitude and tell each other "how it's gonna be." you know, i think the reason they like me is because i just go in there and work. i do whatever they ask me to do, no matter how ridiculous it may sound. they're like, "can you do...?," and i'm always like, "i'll attempt to do whatever you tell me to, and if i can't do it, i'll find a way." rarely does anyone ever acknowledge my efforts, but when they do, it's like being nominated for the nobel peace prize. i'm easily pleased. just a pat on the back makes me want to hump the wall. ok, not really. it just makes me smile. so, i go around patting everyone on the back - one day, i'm going to get slapped with a harrassment suit. that would be typical.

"but i was just trying to make him feel good!"
*gasps and general murmuring within the courtroom*
"no, that's not what i meant, you gutterbrains!"

*sigh* it's never been the same since they stopped hugging (and not molesting) kids in kindergarten.