"Some opportunites are meant to be missed."

I've been having a hell of a time lately, with birthdays and guys and work and things, and it's really started to get the best of me. I made a pretty pitiful video yesterday about how I'm sick of always having to get up, brush myself off, and move past the absolute crap I go through or put myself through. But, blogger won't upload it, so oh well. Maybe you shouldn't see it.

Anyway, I've recently come into contact with someone from my past. It's someone I don't remember, but he believes he remembers me.

And, he wants to meet me for coffee.

Of course, I've completely trashed this idea because I'm terrified that he's just going to be "the next victim," and I really don't feel like hurting someone, along with myself.

So, what to do?

Next logical step: email Heather.

Though I can't post my own letter, I wanted to share hers. I don't know where she came from, but she's wise beyond her years.

She really should have gone into psychology, because she has such an incredibly profound insight on every single thing I've ever had a question about.

Enough stalling. Here it is:

I have one question, if you will give every obviously wrong loser a chance, why won't you give someone who seems to be alot like you (which, just last night you told me you wanted) a chance too?? I thought alot about what you said last night about why do you (we) do the things we do when we know better? and just like you said in your email here, I figured out the conclusion but not at the time we needed it! I think you would take a chance on something you know is total wrong for you because every chance could be something you "missed". just like you said here. Thing is, if it's an obvious alarming situation, meaning one that sets the sirens loose in your head from the get-go, like the one with xxxxx...it may mean that it's a chance you NEED to miss. We are driven by our "what if" mentality. and when we have a chance to do the global outpouring of ideas that we do sometimes, I would like to show you something very interesting in my ADD workbook about that. and it wasn't even in the "emotionally accepting the fact that you're screwed up" section.

Summary: Some opportunites are meant to be missed. Don't let what was ALMOST a dicey decision keep you from taking chances that you that could be good for you.

Have coffee with xxxxx (a separate person from above). Nothing wrong with coffee in the light of day. and do your worst!! lay it out. pick your nose. berate the barrista for not knowing if the milk used came from non-hormone-injected cows or not. re-enact the veteran in the grocery store on new years' eve. But give him a chance to love it or leave it. Because in THIS case, you never know what might happen.

PS: and he's hot.

PSS: that's not the reason you should go to coffee.

I love you Schmoopy! I'm around my house today. Lee and the boys went to Atlanta. I'm going to see if Courtney will let Sophie sleep over tonight so we can go and celebrate your birth. Because I'm still glad you were born, silly.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU!!

Miggity Mack

She really should be writing "how-to" books on living life.

And, me...who knows what I'm here for?


Seriously. If anyone knows, please apprise me, because once again, I'm totally and completely lost. Nothing new. Feels just like home.