question of the day

if you HAVE a bad thought, but then you don't say it out loud;


you have a bad thought, but then chastise yourself for thinking something like that;

are you still committing a heinous crime?

eg. you see someone do/say something (with or without a disability), and you mock them internally. you don't actually SAY anything - the thought just enters your mind...i want to say 'without actively thinking it,' but i'm pretty sure that's not possible.

i'm just curious.

i'm always too curious.


no word on that, yet. i'm trying to get someone to write me the scrip for the initial immunoglobulin shot, then i can go to my doc office to get the rest of the series. don't get me started on how we eventually got to this point, but we did, and i'm still pissed. i'm SOOOO close to changing insurances...GRRRRRRR!!!!!

btw, sean, i'm sorry i wasn't there to get your baby bird! i actually know not to pick things up, when you're in the woods, but once they fly INTO the alcove of your apartment, and you don't want people doing gross things to them, it's, um, kinda hard to not do SOMEthing. especially when people in your complex have fetishes for hitting animals and stuff in the parking lot. so, no matter how dangerous, i will ALWAYS vie for the animals' safety over a truck mowing it down, ok? and you know who's gonna stop me? no-damn-body. i used to stop traffic to help turtles cross the road, when i took the back way to junior college.

sorry - that's just a hot-button issue with me. unfortunate as i'm sure some of you might think, i WOULD put my life in danger to rescue an animal. it has the right to life just as i do, and that's what pushes me over the limit into the elective category "card-carrying PETA member."

IT'S OK! *pushes guy out of way* I'M IN PETA!

LOL-Kitteh as a Second Language

this came from my uncle gordon, from one of my favorite sites (as you can see, listed to the side there, iffn u dun b teh dummest reTARD kk lulz!!!) icanhascheezburger.com. little did i know, i've been speaking LOL-Kitteh in my head for YEARS...

LOL-Kitteh as a Second Language (LKSL-101) in Five Easy Steps

Step one: Think of something to say. This is tricky for some people. ;)

We’ll try a simple, common comment to start:

“That’s a really cute cat. And look, he has a bow on his head!”

Step two: “Engrish” it.

1) Mis-decline verbs, especially misuse the verb “to be”
2) Misuse gerunds
3) Overuse prepositional phrases
4) Blatant rearrangement of syntax
5) Incorrect plurals and past-tense verbs
6) “noun” your adjectives. (For instance, the adjective “blue” can become the noun “blueness”)
7) Improper pronouns
8 ) Drop the articles (”a”, “and”, “the”) in favor of adding “-age” to the end of a noun
9) Use “younger” words (”kitty” versus “cat”, “fuzzy” versus “furry”, etc.)
10) Use the word “with” inappropriately.
11) If you really can’t wrap your head around the concepts behind “Engrish”, try this: Go to babelfish.altavista.com, type your desired comment in, hit “english-to-Japanese”, then re-translate back to English. You have to be able to view special characters (the kanji). If you can’t get that to work, try translating to a different, european-text language, like German.

So, we get:

“That being the kitty very full of cuteness. And to be with looking! Him gots bowage on hims head!”

Step three: Misspell everything. There’s no wrong way to do this, just try not to accidentally correctly spell a completely different word (especially one that’s pronounced differently than your spelling intends). Some words (usually short words) should simply remain spelled correctly for continuity’s sake.

1) Think like a little kid / cat / dog / goldfish, and get hukd on foniks
2) I cannot stress this enough: Vowels are your friends! Do not neglect vowels!! We’re speaking LolKitteh here, not text messaging! (My advice: use alternate vowels, Y’s are particularly handy, but don’t overuse them.)
3) Extra W’s and H’s (”awl” instead of “all”)
4) Z’s instead of S’s are easy
5) Double-letters versus single letters are always fun
6) Don’t be afraid to further pluralize things, including your verbs
7) Remember that the word “THE” must always be spelled “TEH”

now, we have:

“Dat beesing teh kiti vary ful ov kutenis. An to bees lukingz! Hims gotz bowwagez on hims hed!!”

Step four: Add exclamations and extra words.

1) Use commonly accepted internet abbreviations. Misspell them if necessary. (LOL = lawlz! ROTFL = rofflz! OMG = omgwtfbbq!?! … etc … )
2) Imagine that you’re actually in a crowd of people and you want everyone to look at this particular picture. Extra exclamations are thus necessary.
3) Think Valley Girl. The words “like,” “totally,” etc can be added. Remember to misspell!
4) Some common statements have been severely abbreviated into one single multi-syllabic word. These are good to use. The best example is “Okay, thank you, good-bye!” Which has been shortened to “kthxbye” (or “kthxbai”)

And, we have:

“OMG wau!! Dat beesing a kiti vary ful ov tewtul kutenis!! Bees wif da lukingz! Omg him gotz da bowwagez on himz hed lyk WTF?!?”

Step five: Add additional information. This can be the desire to interact with the subject of the photo, personal information, empathetic or sympathetic statements, responses to other posts, etc. Again, nothing right or wrong here, just whatever comes to mind.


“OMG wau!! Dat beesings a kiti vary ful ov tewtul kutenis!! Bees wif da lukingz!! Omg him gotz da bowwagez on himz hed lyk WTF?!? OMG I tewtul wuntz to grabz dat kiti and fuzziez himz awl ovar … him sooooooo mooshy an fullz ov win!! Don werry lil kiti, I no eetz u! I luvz kitiz! I can has bunchiz ov dem! Mah kitiz luvz bowwagez too! YETH!! GIMME!! Kthxbai!”

Remember that all of the above steps are basic guidelines for conversational lol-cat. Some regions do not always rearrange syntax. This a treasure for you. With some practice, you too can be writing (and speaking) in Conversational LolKitteh!

(this class is copyright ELFN 2007, all rights reserved, pliz to be kreditz if u be usingz da verbatumz kthxbai.)