mood:  grinning

Well, guessy what?


Hahaha, I love this feeling. I'm wearing "stupid grin plastered across face" face.

So, last night, about 10p, my friend Paul called me to see if I wanted to hang out, because he was about to lose his mind, hanging out at home. I balked (A LOT), because I was actually about to settle in. After not too much of a fight, I agreed and got ready.

We went to Ruby Tuesday to get some food, drinks and sit and talk. Afterwards, we walked across the road and up the hill, with the intention of going to Bailey's, but strangely enough, the doors were closed and locked, and the lights were off. (On a Saturday night? Does anyone know - are they closed for good???) So, back down the hill, and as we're passing Dave's, I look in the window - too many people.

He asks if we try Blue Monkey, since they have comfy couches (and urine-soaked carpet), but when we pull up in the parking lot, it's totally packed, with one available spot. We pull in the spot, walk down the cobblestone, and he says, "nope. Not happening." So, back up the hill to the car.

We ended up over in Lakeview, and he pulled into the first place we passed, Zak's, which USED to be OT's. It was always a grossy, seedy dive, with not a lot of reputable people. Nice to know it really hasn't changed.

Anyway, we walk in, and as Paul pays our ways, I hear a crowd and a band gearing up to play. I almost told him to get his money back, because I wasn't in the mood to hear freaking "Sweet Home Alabama" played by some loser-ass, backwoods garage band. (Actually, I'd be happy if that song had never come into existence.) But, while Paul is paying, I hear the lead singer talk, silence....and then BLAM!!!!! They tore right into the first song. It scared me so bad, I was in the process of crawling over the table, into the man's arms who was taking the money. Nice way to throw yourself at someone, butthead.

Of course, I start the old lady screaming "WTF IS THIS??? WHO IS THIS? WHY ARE THEY PLAYING????"

Well, old ladies probably don't say that, but this old lady did.

So, we walk around the divider and there are about 20 shirtless school kids (ugh, shirtless, sweaty guys - NOT my thing, btw), and two shirtless band members (that's okay, because at least they're not touching anyone). But, the first person who caught my eye was the lead singer - Yummy! &=)

We walked to the bar to get drinks and sit and listen, because there would be no more talking at this point. Actually, we ended up texting and typing back and forth, because my eardrums were in current use. Paul was making fun of me, since I couldn't keep my eyes off the lead singer. It was so weird, though, because he looked and sounded SO MUCH like Serj Tankian from System of a Down (I'm supposed to marry him, btw), whom I idolize, but not in the bad way. More in the 'he's my super-favorite person of my super-favorite band ever' way.

They played what I considered a short set, but it was about 130a or so. Paul convinced me to walk down to the stage with him, although I'm far too frail anymore to mosh - my only regret of getting old. So, I stood there and did "chickenhead," (but not the bad kind) which I hate. *peck* *peck* *peck* *peck*

After it was over, Paul reached up and asked if I could have my picture made with him. I asked about a cd, and while we were waiting to acquire one, we started talking to him about the band. We told him that we totally just walked in on them, because we had nowhere else to go and ended up really, REALLY enjoying the music (and the sites, but I would have totally killed Paul a thousand times over, had he mentioned that). He was SO totally humbled and so thankful that we liked the band. Paul said he said some more things about being a server at a restaurant and stuff like that, but I was too busy gauging my eye movements, and if you think I'm lying, please ask Paul. I was trying to time them, so I wouldn't stare too long, or look too disinterested, or whatever. Man, up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-A-B-A-B-select-start. *groan*

So, dude finally brings a cd, and I said, "um, and you're signing this, right?" He seemed surprised - "Oh! Yeah!," and as he's writing, Paul leans over and says, "And, she's going to be very upset if you don't write your phone number on there."

He stands up and looks at the two of us - me, then Paul, then me, then Paul - and he really looks like he wants to say something...SOMETHING. But, Paul interjects, "Oh, we're just friends. We've been friends for years. We're not together." Dude was like, "Woah, I was wondering what...yeah, okay," and he proceeds to lean over and WRITE HIS PHONE NUMBER ON THE CD!!!!!!!!!!

I totally punched Paul in the arm like, 'don't say that,' but I almost crapped myself WHEN HE DID. I proceeded to then act spazzier than normal - no, actually, I was okay, but I'm sure it was because I had a chaperone, someone to back me up. I asked him his name - Steve - and he asked mine - Jennifer - and he wrote it down on his hand! &=) I don't know what that meant, but it made me happy anyway! Paul took our picture (dude, I'm totally larnin' you how to take a damn photograph), and he got his band packed up to go.

So, in between decent conversation with Paul, I was stroking about 'what about this Steve thing?????' Paul had to deliver to me CRIB NOTES on how to talk to a guy. Incidentally, I have NO beef about talking to anyone - guy or girl - about anything, unless it's someone that I really like. Obviously, I don't know if I like this guy - but in my eyes, he's a <+RAWK STAR+> *jingle jingle* so of course I'm going to have problems with bodily functions and stuff.

I know this is the kind of stuff that never works out for me, but it's absolutely adorable nonetheless. It's a cute story to tell my, er, granddogs one day (?).

So, I'm supposed to wait until Tuesday to call this guy, - Steve - and I'm supposed to make it short and sweet. I'm getting tips, so anything else anyone wants to add, please let me know. Because clearly, I only know how to be myself, and that's retarded. I don't believe in lying, but I also don't want to completely frighten the poor thing. Of course, if you saw him thrashing around up on stage, you'd think not much would scare a guy like that.

Meh, we'll see.

I'll be taking pointers from now until Tuesday at 3p, so any VALUABLE info you'd like to throw at me, go ahead. I've never tried to woo a rock star (from a garage band) before, so this will be interesting and possibly fun...or very, very embarrassing, which is also cool - but then I'll never be able to go out in public again. Oh well - it's win-win for me either way, right?

Yeah...stay tuned to see how THIS turns out. I know I'm planning to.

And, just for Paul - *teehee* (that was all I could say for the rest of the night - he said he was seeing a total different side of me.)

ps. Jack's at puppy school, so I'll update about that a little later! I miss me some Anpan!!!!



This is where I want to start

Can you imagine washing your clothes in this water? Bathing in it? Drinking it?

Think about this next time you purchase a bottle of water, take a drink, then pour the rest down the sink. These people didn't ask for this, and this could just as easily have been you and your family.

No one asks to be put in these situations or born into these poor countries. But, I do believe that based on my status in life, I owe others my help, because I can give it. As much as I whine about money and my health, I'm far better off than these people could probably ever envision.

That's why, when people nag me about raising a family "on the run," - how can I deprive my kids of all the things with which we grew up - I reply that it has everything to do with Western culture and societal ideals. Living in the very privleged, very greedy United States has imbued in us the idea that we are obligated to receive everything and more.

When in fact, we DESERVE nothing.

But we NEED so much.

Nothing that you do anymore comes without a price or some sort of repercussion. For example, you DO know that when you throw trash away, there's really no such thing as "away." But, out of sight, out of mind, right?

Well, the same stands for these people, the less fortunate. Since they're not in your direct line of vision, you seem to forget they exist. But, they don't. Every day is a new struggle, another day of wondering if you and your children will survive.

I'm not saying that everyone should drop what they're doing and travel to other countries to help (although that would be nice). But, there are always ways to help. Invest in an organization, sponsor a child, research an affiliation in whose cause you take to heart, participate in community cleanup, recycle - there are SO MANY THINGS we could do. I've just chosen to step completely outside my area of comfort and take matters into my own hands.

I know I've talked about it for years, but I really feel it closing in. And, I'm glad. I'm ready for a change.

I need a break from my own selfishness, in order to concentrate on the needs of others.

Plus, I think it will be super-fun. &=)


Postscript to...

...why I haven't been ANYWHERE on the computer:

Shark-puppy bit a (TEENY-TINY, SUPER-SHARP, BABY PUPPY TOOTH) hole in my laptop charger, so my computer at home is dead.

(It's been nice, trust me. A bit like living without a cellphone.)

Anyway, Joe's going to order me another one - just not sure when. I'm in no hurry, except that I would like to start blogging again. For those of you who don't mind stopping by to read the rantings of the "crazy girl."

I like being crazy. It makes my life more interesting.

Shark-puppy & my life

So, I'm at work right now, as I always am at this time of day.

Lots of things have happened, most not worth mentioning.

Most noteworthy - I have a puppy, now. His name is Jackson - Anpan Jackson _fill-in-the-blank_ Braxton, to be exact. The blank is for whatever he's doing at the moment. He's an AmStaff (that's safety-speak for PIT BULL), and he's my baby! We had to visit the pet doc yesterday, because he was having a problem eating. Turns out, he has coccidia (coccidiosis), tiny protozoans that are living in his intestines, making him have diareenies and little to no appetite.

So, he got a BIG ampicillin shot (he cried!), and he gets to eat yogurt yesterday and today, which it turns out he really likes! He's on two antibiotics, and she said he should start to gain weight in no time. He's such a skinny cage of bones! She started laughing when I said I could see his "dog pelvis."

But, he's my sweet baby. He's going to go back to Ralph Gibson in Pelham for training, but he needs to get over this first. Phil and I took Jezzabelle to Ralph, and she was a much better behaved dog for it, so I'm really excited. He's already such a good boy, he needs very little improvement!*

*Except for when he likes to play "shark face." He opens his mouth really wide and waves his head around, trying to play-bite me. I tell him no, because he's a puppy and not a shark.

Aside from that, not much is going on.

My cousin Bob, his wife Alice and their baby Olive came to visit last weekend, so that was a lot of fun. I just wish we all could have spent more time together. It's hard when people live so far away.

I'm back in touch with my friend, Joseph, with whom I haven't spoken in close to six years, so it's been nice to talk to him. He lives close to Silicon Valley and is working for a gaming company. He's really busy, though, trying to move up through the ranks.

Thankfully, my job offers none of that.

I'm on ninety-day probation, for being late and call-ins. Who knows - maybe me getting fired will be the best thing to happen to me! If it wasn't so immediately and pressingly expensive, I'd totally be up for a move RIGHT NOW! But, I have to think of MY family, which is now my two girls and Jack.

Still, I'd like to pursue that Living Waters for the World program. Right now, I think I'm just wasting time, kicking my feet around, hoping something good will happen. I need to stop screwing around and do something, that's for sure.

I don't know what my life holds, but I know I'm ready for anything right now. I'm more confident and alive than I've been in years. I'm sick of being trapped by old memories and difficult and wrong decisions that I made so long ago.

Forward is good.

...unless you're in a car, careening over the ledge of a mountain. In that case, just pray for wings! &=)


Cut your nose off to spite your face.

And, here's the new one:

Your a complete nut, and someone should have you committed before you seriously hurt someone. Your lucky I asked the cop not to arrest your crazy ass. Figures your crazy ass has to find a new guy to fuck with and spread your crazy to instead of figuring your own fucked up self. Let me know who he is so I an let him know how you treat people and how you treat children you psychotic manic depressive fuck. Your lucky I don't drop domino off at a kill shelter just to spite you. Don't ever come near my home or any home I live in again or I will have you arrested on site. You are not welcome on any home/apartment to which I apply a payment and should I see you I will treat it as your attempt to cause me or my family harm and I will treat you as such you crazy bitch. You are the hideous plagues that is infecting what could be a good and happy world. Thanks to you people all around you are living slightly unhappier lives then they deserve and they will never truly be happy until you are out of the picture. Even though I know you wont i hope you take this to hear. You truly are disturbed.

Comments, anyone?


I've been wasting time

I just deleted ALL of my online dating accounts.

If anyone sees me on a dating site, please let me know - I'm not supposed to be there.

Time to get real.


Nice to meet you...again.

I'm getting ready to go see the Vast show at Zydeco, with my buddy Cory.

I can't help but regret that I'm missing a party that I'd really rather be at.  But, I promised Cory long before the party came up.

The other day, when I went to get my stuff, it went about as horribly as it could have (which explained my ending up in the ER with chest pains the day before).  He wouldn't let me have my cat, and he pushed me out the door (I actually hurt my elbow) and wouldn't let me get the rest of my stuff.  Then, he tried to get the cops involved - like that would have any sort of effect on me.  Some off-duty asshole getting involved.  If  Chris wasn't such a fucking self-righteous redneck, none of this would have happened.

Thankfully, though, I had my friend Landon with me.  I'm so glad he was with me, or I assume I could have gotten into some real trouble.  Everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - advised me not to go alone.  I'm really glad I didn't.  Thank you, Landon.  I'm sorry you had to witness that.

With Chris, though, it's not even about the cat.  It's all about him being right...and abusive.  So, I guess I should have seen that coming.

Anyway, it's over.  I just hope sweet Domino survives.  I hate that I left him in that environment.  I'm sorry, Domino.  I still love you, and I'm sorry for what I've done to you.  You deserved so much better.

So, the incident is over, thank God.  It's past time to move on.  As usual, I made a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad mistake, but there's nothing I can do about it now.

As for the aftermath...&=)

I went to hang out at Landon's place afterwards - just a touch of normalcy after the psychotic episode.  Cliff came home from work, and we got to sit around and chill for a while.  It was so nice.  I got to meet Landon's new girlfriend, Kassie - she's nice.  Then, they invited me to their party tonight, but I already had plans.

I got to meet someone, though.  It was someone I never got to know.  And, you know what?  He's a fantastic person.  I hope to learn a whole lot more about him in the future.  The past few years of his life haven't been the best, to which I can completely relate.  And, he's so sweet and tender, which is a definite change...a positive change!  It's been so long since I've been able to be around someone who enjoys being gentle.

Nothing happened - it was just...pleasant.  And, it was so comforting to be with someone with whom I felt safe.  Now, THAT has been something I haven't felt in years.  Safety.

Time is key, though.  The slower, the better.

More time to enjoy.

Let's just hope this works out.

Even if it doesn't, I've been in the most sensational mood all week.  It's nice to have a goofy grin plastered on your face, instead of a scowl.