ALL dogs go to Heaven, even if you don't

I just read this article about scientists finding the 10000-year-old frozen carcass of a 6-month-old baby mammoth in the Yamal-Nenets region of Siberia. He's in spectacular shape, with his eyes intact, and they said he even still has his fuzzy hair. I thought it was all great and everything, until I saw his little picture and had to give myself the mental image of that tiny, baby mammoth, getting lost in the snow, separated from his parents, can't find any food, and finally just falling over in exhaustion and hunger, only to freeze to death, alone.


You know, I love doing things for PETA, ASPCA, pets, farm animals, domestic animals, but most of those horrendous videos and articles, I have to admit, I've never even seen or read. I love to be able to spout off facts and information for people who ask or want to know more, but the images of the things that I have seen have never left my brain. It's the kind of things I have nightmares about - kittens in boxes or bags on the side of the road, frantically crying for help; animals locked away in cages, vomiting, eyes running, bloody and swollen shut, shaved, pumped full of chemicals, all as test subjects for human products; puppies from puppy mills, starving and physically suffering from mange, rabies and more than likely starving and suffering from any number of infections; the infected, bloody, cracked bottom of an elephant's foot from standing on hot asphalt for hours at a time, sometimes wearing sequiny outfits, standing there, waiting to perform for human entertainment; cows lined up, standing in and eating their own feces, only to be corralled, herded in, and have their brains bashed out, simply to satisfy the human need to be the highest link on the food chain...I mean, I could literally go on for hours. But I have to FORCE myself to not think about this stuff, because it drives me almost to the brink of insanity, knowing me and Booboo and Jammy Pie are sitting, holed-up in our safe apartment, with food and shelter, but there are so many others out there, suffering, usually at the hands of a human being.

I was talking to Sean the other day about my encounters with atheism and my feelings on various facets of religion. I said that although Christianity doesn't teach it and most people probably don't believe it, I can't stand to think about animals not having souls. I mean, just looking into Jezzabelle's eyes, I KNOW for a fact that girl has a soul. I just don't understand how people can look in the face of an animal, like a dog or a cat, even a pet that you care about with all your heart, with those baleful eyes and still believe that there is no God. And there's no scientific basis - it's just something I believe. I can't stand to think that I'll have to go the rest of my entire eternity, without ever getting to see my Luxo or Missy or any of the other pets I've cherished over the years.

I always said that I love animals, and I always just want them to all jump on me and be soft. Well, I mean, not like cows and elephants - they can hang out nearby, while I'm rolling in bunnies and chinchillas and kittens and stuff. Then I'll get up and love on the bigger animals. I think animals are amazing - the way they're so different from us, yet have many similarities. I can watch Booboo and Jammy play for hours. The way they move, entertain themselves, adeptly pick things up with their hands, and roll around like they've never been happier in all their lives. And, I'm so happy I can give them that, even though they can't thank me.

I've seen people in desperate situations; I've seen lots of human suffering, but there's nothing that can light a fire under me like an animal that's in trouble. I can't stand to hear the mew of a kitten, in particular, when it's in trouble or lost or scared. It's heart-wrenching to me. Imagine that kitten as a frightened human child, and you'll understand what I'm picturing. They can't "tell" us what they need or want, so we have to do whatever we can to help. I mean, even having opposable thumbs and the ability to reason, I can't imagine being lost in a place full of strange-smelling creatures who don't speak your language and don't look remotely LIKE you.

Once, I saw this video of these dudes who put a cat in a cage, squirted it with gasoline, then set it on fire and videotaped it. I've never been able to stop thinking about that; I can still hear the scream of that cat. I don't really even need to publically post what I'd like to do to those guys. I reported the link to PETA, and they said they'd heard of it before, and it was still under investigation. I know PETA is pretty extreme, but that's exactly who I think should get their hands on those jackasses. Inhumanity to any creature, living or dead, is completely unnecessary.

Sorry. Bit of a preachy thing, right? That's ok. I like exploring these varying subjects that make me who I am, even sometimes I can't even decide what to wear or remember if I ate breakfast or not. I'm not the best at debating, but that's why I like to lay this stuff out and pick through it with a fine tooth comb. The more you know about a subject, the more intelligibly you can discuss it with someone.

I know that was kind of a weird tangent to take, but I did it. And I LIKED it. &=P

"New Jimmy, with ankle-whacking action! Crutch sold separately."

Man, I've got so much to update, but guess what? My home internet has been cut off. &=( I've been behind in paying everything lately, so I was able to pay them only part of my bill, so they cut my service off anyway. Ok, so give me my $50 back, then. Pth.

Anyway, I figured, screw it - I'm out of there in less than two weeks anyway. So, I'm just going to cancel my service altogether today. Sucks not having net at home, though. Kinda similar to withdrawals from meth or smoking - can't stop pacing the floors and can't find anything with which I want to busy myself.

Ok, so I can't update on much of anything right now. All my pics and stuff are on my computer. I might take it over to Heather's one evening and update then. But I hate posting something, then posting pics later or not WITH the crap I'm talking about. Gets kind of confusing. Like I still have to post pics of my knee and hip (which is great, btw, but more on that in a min), but I have to pull pics off Amy's cam and Heather's cam, etc, etc.

Lemme see what else...oh, it's 13 days until I move, and I have nowhere to go. &=D I'm ok, though. I'll figure something out. I've got enough cardboard boxes to build my own cardboard box mansion, so I guess I'm kinda glad it's warm outside right now.

Ok, I went and saw Dr. Stannard yesterday, and he gave me a clean bill of health. The xrays look ok - you can see the tiny bone graft in between the two pieces of patella. He wants to give it 6 more weeks, though, before we start PT. &=( He said I don't have to wear the brace or do the crutches anymore, but I'm still kind of nervous about that. He said he still doesn't want me doing any lifting with my leg, no squatting or weight training on it yet, but I can walk and do normal stuff. So, I'm at work today, with the ace bandage on my knee and my brace in a bag, moving at a turtle's pace. I've been really cautious, walking around. I went to do a portable and as I was leaving, I was like, "ok, see you guys in an hour." I did ok, though. I was just pokey-pokey.

And, I'm trying to WALK and not hop, hobble or limp, which is much harder than it sounds, because I can get around SOOOO much faster when I do those things. Ow, and it does have twinges of pain, though, every now and again. It's a different kind of pain than I'm used to. I always wondered what it would feel like to have hardware in your body - well, it doesn't.

My friend Sean and I went to the 311 concert last night, and it was awesome. We were both exhausted (as I'm sure everyone else who went was) from going to the HP premiere at midnight on Tuesday. It was the first time I've ever sat down at a concert. &=( But I didn't stay sitting the whole time. I stood a little during Matisyahu (who is frigging awesome, for those of you who are like me and have never heard of him) and tried to get my concert legs. Then 311 came out, and I had to use my crutch, because I was rocking out. They were awesome, AS USUAL, and Nick Hexum is still the die-hard hawtie he was in the very beginning. We were in the first tier and had pretty good seats, so I was happy about that. I don't like sitting at the top, where you have to take the dramamine. *Urp*

Getting to the seats was a bit of an effort. I had my brace and one crutch, just to ward the peoples off. It was a bit of a trek from the car, and when we got in the gate, it got really tight. Some people were very polite and would step out of the way to let me pass. Others would just run straight into me, like I wasn't even there - much like I'm used to. It sucks to be short...and invisible. Anyway, we got into the venue, and it got so tight, and most of the people weren't paying any attention, so I just started dragging my crutch (with a little added weight) and whacking people in the ankles and shins. I managed to bruise about 50 people before we got to our seats, so I did pretty good. Some people I managed to hit both legs, so that's double points. I think I'm going to start taking a crutch everywhere I go. Forever.

Oh, and when Matisyahu was performing, there was this really tall, really drunk guy who came staggering into the row in front of us and TOTALLY ALL-OUT FELL on the guy directly in front of me. I thought he knew the guy and was just giving him a hard time - but he didn't! I turned and looked aghast at Sean, and he said, "man, that could have been you!" So, I kept a bead on this joker the WHOLE concert. Bitch wasn't falling on MY knee. After Matisyahu, the dude climbs over the seats into OUR row (dammit) and comes tumbling towards me. I put my hands out to stop him, and he says, "I'm not going to hurt you,"
"Yes, you are."
"Well, it's possible."
"And, it's possible I'll kick your ass."
He was all trying to pull that drunk/hooch-laden "let's all just get along" friendliness crap on me, but I was having none of it. If this ass would have fallen on me and fucked my knee up, omfg, you guys don't know the ass-whooping I would have delivered on this fucker. &=( More surgery. Pinch me.

Aside from that, I met the guy sitting next to me, (Christopher) who's in real estate and councils high school kids who have been in accidents with drunk drivers, sustained some type of injury and are getting acclimated back into high school. Sitting next to him were these two girls, Mike and I didn't catch the name of the other one. The lady behind me kept telling me how beautiful my hair was and how she loved the flowers I had in it, so we talked arts and crafts for a few minutes. That's one thing about that type of concert - everyone's really friendly. And, I'm like a coiled snake, sitting, waiting to strike. A snake with KNEES. *sssssssssssss*

So, anyway, the concert was fantabulawesome. They didn't play Sean's fav song "Come Original", but they did play "Creatures," "Love Song" and several other really good ones. I kept having to sit down, whenever my legs would get tired or my knee would start hurting, but I did good. They played a lot of instrumental stuff that I swear I almost fell asleep to. It was very mellow and comforting. I wish they'd release a whole album of stuff like that. Oh, and they did that drum line thing that they started doing on their last tour. That number always gets my heart racing. I love it.

Also, Nick Hexum is a frigging hottie. Did I say that already?

Bah, ok. Peoples are talking to me and talking and they're making me lose my train of thought. I'll blag more laterz.