3.25.2011

Celebrity Watch - Animal-Style




















I got to meet a celebrity and a survivor yesterday. &=)

I've got a super-stellar headache right this second, so I'm going to lay down. Just wanted you guys to revel in a picture of this handsome fella, until I get a chance to tell his story.

3.23.2011

I forgot what it means to look up

Oh! Omg, guess what?

Oh!

"A job" was able to get in touch with my aunt (AT HER SCHOOL) and find out where I was, because THEY WANT TO HIRE ME! She said it's likely to be part-time in the beginning, but OH MY GOD IT'S A JOB.

Now, get this: I DON'T HAVE A PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. Ok, I have to pull myself together. I think I have a little money left in my bank acct. I can go get another card for Bryan's phone.

Oh, but first I'm going to brush my teeth.

OH! Oh! Oh, oh my gosh. I....OH! I have to go!

3.22.2011

Hahahaha

I talk A LOT!

How can you guys stand to read all this?

Jeebus, it's like talking to me in real life.


I just tried to read a couple of past posts (which as you know, I never do), and I almost bored myself into a coma.

No wonder my hits have gone down.


Anyway, just wanted to stop by and merely say s'up.
I don't want to get into thoughts right now, because they're the same as they ever were. And, as much as I LOVE reiterating myself on my BLOG, I just can't bear it. It's like shoving my nose in the shit I've made for myself.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with a picture, since I was up till almost 5 this morning, clogging Bryan's hard drive up with stuff that's funny at 5 in the morning. Don't want the fruits of my labor to go to waste:



















Friends don't let friends eat hot dogs, period. PERIOD.

3.21.2011

Please help me not give in

I sit here, soaked in baking soda, vinegar and tears. There's never a time in my life that this song hasn't applied. And, six years later, it still brings me down from scrubbing cabinets, to a genuflection of pure sorrow and pain.

Katie Todd

Breathe deep
in light of what is all around you
but don't speak
words are becoming your worst enemy

Seize the day
do you have something you can sink your teeth into
In a stale place
are you able to cry or make a silly face

At the end of the day
you just aren't the same

please don't give in

Are you set in your ways
is there room for change

*please don't give in*

WYSIWYG






















Yeah, I'm fat.






















But, I'm still me.

Dreams in blue

I had a lovely dream, that we met here:

















I'm such an old-world romantic. I've never taken the time to trace my history, but I can assure you, I came straight from Italy (or Greece, which would make me even happier). That place has called to me ever since I saw my first photograph of of the blue-topped Grecian church in Santorini. I love that city. I'm obsessed with the lushness of Ireland. I love the history of Rome. I have friends in Bosnia. I've always been a world traveler in my heart.

















It's been on my mind, ever since moving. Sometimes it depresses me to think I'll never know any other place than this. But, since a comment from a new friend, Agnar (he's a bird - I know what you're thinking - it will never work. The beak, the talons...but, I digress), I've only been able to think of anywhere other than here.

And, Greece, you're so on my mind.

3.20.2011

Your joint is sticking out

Haha, wow. I was screwing around on my blog settings, and I read where my avg is 3 hits a day.

Which is weird. Because it actually hurt my feelings.

That was weird.

Oh, and the other thing is, I have no idea what this thing looks like on the other side, because none of the settings I make seem to take effect on my side (color, font, eg.). <-that accumulation of dots altogether makes me nervous. Anyone know the correct way for that? Any eggy-heads out there, pleeze advize.


Yes, which narrowly brings me close enough to what I was originally saying (Yep. I forgot.) - I think I'm getting around to picking up my skirts and headed over to Wordpress. I've already signed up - I've just been incredibly distracted (NOT for this post). BUT, the super-favorite thing is that I can have specific posts protected. Plus, blogger has actually become very, um...errrrrr......mmmmMyspace? Yeah. I need a more mature blog.

God, I feel like I just gave you guys a commercial:

WordPress - For the Mature Blogger

I'll have advertisements for Centrum Silver and dating sites for senior citizens.

Okay, right, so I have a little paranoia for getting old. Sue me.

No, seriously, you probably could.


...i don't have anything, though...

Honester than that...

This just popped in my head, for some reason.

I love this. So comforting. Like a blanket. Of hugs.


I'm with you in Rockland

where we wake up electrified out of the coma by our own souls' airplanes roaring over the roof they've come to drop angelic bombs the hospital illuminates itself imaginary walls collapse O skinny legions run outside O starry-spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is here O victory forget your underwear we're free

I'm with you in Rockland

in my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night

Howl
Allen ginsburg

I was going to say something...

...but I forgot.

I also just like being able to get on dis blag whenever I want, now. &=)

I'm trying to let go.


I'm still holding on to what I want to, though. Some things you just beg will one day relinquish their hold on you, but some things you don't ever want to release.

And, those are the things for which I'm sorry, but I'll still never reveal to anyone. (Well, there's this one girl...that I love with all my heart, who is THE only person who will ever know everything about me, much to her chagrin. Never met a friend like her and never will again.)

Hahaha, I LOVE rambling, when I'm too high. But, I hate reading it later.

Okay, I have to go or I'm just going to keep talking about nothing.

Going.

....nnnnnnnNOW!

3.19.2011

Who are you, again?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MISSED YOU, BLOG!

I'm going to start being more diligent about you. God knows I need it.

Right now, the trailer is in shambles, since we just moved in. I'm in the process of scrubbing out these smelly, old-ass cabinets, that have had funky old crap in them and closed and sealed off for over five years. Holy God, it's...it's almost more than I can bear. But, I live here, so it has to be done.

I'm paying for it right now, by wallowing in some pretty immense pain. That's what happens, though, when you've been fairly stagnant for the last year or so.

Still on quest to find self, as well as either finding happiness or allowing myself to be so.
Back on meds, which I'm NOT crazy about, but I'll do anything to not feel like shit.

Fucker.

Right now, I'm just doing the whole one day at a time thing. Sometimes I can't even handle the one day. I'm like the Monarch - I constantly hate EVERYTHING. I hate myself more than anyone else can ever claim. It's "teh suk," I assure you.

BUT, nothing else to do but keep pushing forward. Every day, I have the same fight with myself about how fucking tired I am, how I just want to sleep, how I want to just dissolve from this world. I have so many fantastic people in my life, though. It's your fault for me wanting to stay. &=P


*SIGH SIGH SIGH*
I have to get off here and rest my neck for a minute, before I have to get back to cleaning the kitchen. I've got to get this shit done, since we're supposed to hang out with Laura and Cory tonight. Everyone knows I've GOT to have at least a 6-hr nap beforehand.

Miss you guys. Miss posting. Miss typing. Miss working. Miss energy. Miss happiness. Miss my best friend. Miss my little mom. Miss life.

Does anyone need hugs? Because I've got a TON stored away, that I need to give away pretty soon, before I get all weird and start hugging myself.

XOXO