the pitfalls? meet my reasons.

Ok, I really need to be doing some work on my blog. I wish I would keep up with it better. I've been so busy lately, at work and outside of work.

I actually can't write long now, because I need to jump in the shower, and Ryan is coming over. He's the guy I'm dating now. I would use the term "flavor of the week," but that's so crude and brash. *Ick* It gave me shivers just saying it right there.

But, hell, you never know if things are going to work out or not, you know?

I got to go get my Erica today after work! I got her after class and took her with me to do some running around. She's so funny - she got in the car and IMMEDIATELY launched into a full-on description on everything that's been going on, including the events of the day. I love to listen to her talk! I'm so glad I'm so close to her - only like 10 min away.

So, we ran some errands, picked her up a couple of things for school, then we went back to her dorm for me to install Microsoft Office. She had to have it to open up some class programs...AND she's already got a ton of homework.

You know, I don't miss being an undergrad, but I DO miss school.

Ok, well, today at work, we started talking about recycling in the city (and outside), and apparently that's my "hot button" issue! &=D I don't think I knew that! We got into a really heated discussion about the inefficiency of our city government (yes, this is slander - sue me). So, somehow, I ended up on the Green Team at work (ohhhhh, they're going to fucking hate me, and I'm not EVEN kidding), I sent a letter along with questions and a request to volunteer with the Green Resource Center here in town, and I'm going to see if I can possibly meet with the Recycling Coordinator of the Alabama Environmental Council.


What just happened to me? What sort of vortex did I fall through, where I just became a civic activist?

Whatever. I guess this is it. I guess this is how it all begins. I'm hoping that it ends with me in the Peace Corps or an equally respective volunteer organization. My idea, though, is scary to just about everyone.

I want to meet someone, whom I can marry, who loves me for me, and who has similar desires and interests. I want he and I to join said organization and travel the world, helping others and raising a family.

Go ahead and cringe. Give me a hard time about how I'm "taking my children's childhoods away." Tell me about how much danger in which I'm putting my family. Tell me how horrible I would be to "raise them in poverty."

And, I can PROMISE you, I have rebuttals to all of your concerns.

Taking my child's childhood away....
That's funny, actually. I'm taking away my child's "American Dream" childhood. I'm giving them something totally different, something SO MUCH MORE substantial. I'm taking away something that our cush American society has driven into our minds as being "normal." You know, things don't occur the same way everywhere on the planet, right? I know that's difficult to grasp, because what do you mean "other places????" I thought the United States WAS the world!!!!

*shakes head & sighs*

The issue of danger
We're in just as much danger here, of being shot by a crazy person, as if we went anywhere else on earth. No, I'm not traipsing right off to Iraq or whatnot. I don't want to be in danger any more than I want my own flesh and blood to be in danger. Besides, I DO have the faith that no matter what, God will take care of us, and whatever happens is God's will. There's no such thing as "tempting fate." Fate is a proposed concept by humans. God's will is God's will.

For those of you who don't believe, I AM truly sorry if you don't understand what I'm saying. I've never blamed any of my problems on God or Satan, but I do believe that what happens is predetermined, and I'm just following the path I was always meant to follow.

Anyway, I would give my life to save my family. Even my "extended family." I would never even give it a second thought. And, if any of you truly know me, you know how difficult it would be to get through me to someone I love.

Raising my children in poverty
Well, guess what? Poverty exists. You just think it's horrible and disgusting, because you don't see it every day. Most people couldn't give a shit either way, and that's so selfish to me. I want to WORK with those people, side-by-side. I want my children to KNOW there is suffering in the world, but there are things we can do to CHANGE it. Someone has to be there to do the actual physical labor that has to be done, and I want to be that person. I want my children to live and breathe benevolence. I want THEM to be the ones who can carry on the change, when I no longer can. I want to raise them with an innocent sense of pride that they were able, through God's love and work, to make the world just a tiny bit better. What better way to teach than to experience?
No, Lord Jesus, I'm not going to have them living in complete squalor. When you volunteer with these programs, they try as best they can to take care of you. The Peace Corps doesn't put their volunteers in danger. I would never raise my children in a place where I would have absolutely no access to proper health care. I would never make them live in rags and eat with the flies. But those are the kinds of constant dilemmas we need to help remedy!

Are we just perpetuating these people & their scenarios?
I don't know.

Why has this neediness gone on for so many years?
Because there's always a need for help. There are thousands of children, wanted and unwanted, being born every day. The messages aren't always clear. Sometimes people revert back to their old ways. Easily preventable diseases can come through and bring an entire village to it's knees. WHO REALLY KNOWS?

Why not stay in the States?
Because to be perfectly candid with you, I don't like it here. The selfishness, egocentricity, and hedonistic attitudes of the majority of the people I meet here just does NOT sit well with me.

But, I dream about it!...To live in a town, in a house, WITH the people of whatever country, experience what they experience, teach them anything you can, learn as much as they can give you, make the same minimal wages as them, and work with other volunteers to make their lives better - how rewarding is that?????

Ok, maybe not to you, but it certainly is to me.