waiting for the toilet paper

current mood: sleepy

i'm awake now, and i tried to do that stupid posting a pic to my bio, but it won't work, because I'M retarded. so screw.

anyway, i'm awake, and i had to get toilet paper. actually, i had to sit and wait while ricky went to the store to BUY some toilet paper. yeah, we're doing goooood. we're actually supposed to be getting ready to go apartment hunting.

those damn apartments...they killed my father and raped my sister. i'll get you, chateau orleans. i'll get you...

anyway, we gotta hurry up and get out of here before i kill someone. namely jeff. i'm just ready to get the f out of here. i should still be living alone, but i just realized i hate that. i'm a ween, and i like for someone to sleep in the bed with me. it's not that i get scared. i'm just...strange. it doesn't matter who it is - it could possibly be someone i totally hate. maybe i should just get a corpse or a blow-up person to keep in the bed. because i don't really cater to someone being here while i'm awake. i can do awake just fine sometimes. but asleep - nah. and i'm not scared of the dark, and since that jackhole took my knife, i have my baseball bat, so i'm not scared. i'll nail a fool for knocking on the door - i can protect the homestead. i just hate being alone while i'm unconscious. weird, huh?

oh, and i wrote this on myspace. i hate having two blog-ish things. but here:

Thursday, September 28, 2006

living the lie
Current mood: disappointed

i just realized that i'm living a lie, and i can't stop. how do you stop living the only life you know? what if you hate it? what if you hate everything? how do you just walk away and start over? is it possible? i don't think so. i don't know. but i'm sure as hell going to try. little by little, i have to break away. there's very few things in this life that i want, and i just realized it. it's like when you think of something really important, and you're sitting on the toilet. well, i was in the shower. and i got it. and now i have to fix it. i'm always good at fucking things up, but i suck at fixing them.

ahhhhh, well, we'll see.

**so, i wrote that the other day. and i keep thinking there's something on my mind that i need to type, but now it's gone. i hate that. it just means it will crop up and bother me later when i don't have any paper or a pen or something.
cripes, i'm so sleepy. must...find...apartment.......get the.....hell....out of.....dodge......

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............