non-cutters will never understand cutters.
normal people will never understand those with depression.
people who have never been depressed...you'll never know until you've been in your own dark, abyssmal hole - alone. you don't KNOW what other peoples' holes are like. you don't know what lives in that hole with them. no one experiences the SAME emotions in that hole. everyone feels differently. they always will.
psychs can only classify it as "a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason." basically, it's saying you're sad for no reason. thanks, science.
but there is a reason. there is ALWAYS a reason. sometimes the sadness just moves past the reason, and beyond the dark veil. it's so hard to find your way back. and sometimes you stay lost for so long, you just don't see the point in trying to find your way back. it's like life will always be this way.
it's so hard to explain. the mental and physical work it takes to find your way out is exhausting. but you can't appreciate it until you've been there.
it's a disease. in my book, it ranks right up there with cancer. i hate them both with a passion i can't describe. cancer took my mom, and depression took me. it still rears it's ugly head every so often, but i've learned how to acclimate. but i have had almost 8 years experience, so every day is a learning experience. i'm still fighting, damnit. i'm ready to meet my enemy head-on.
thankfully, i'm finally coming out on top. thank you to those of you who stuck around. i love you all incredibly.