Leaving home, again

Okey doke. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm headed out to my grandmother's house, to let her take care of me for a bit. I managed to, in a fit of drug-induced, pain-free rage clean my house last night, or at least pick up everything that I had messed up when I got home, stopped feeling well, and stopped using garbage cans.

I feel ok, now, but I'm still having some of those weird stomach pains from last night. I just have to be really careful about what I take, when and with what. See, I haven't really talked a lot about my visits, because I can't stand to sit in this chair for extended amounts of time. And, I'm still not going to do it. But the ER doc from last night, Dr. Bowen, gave me this stuff that I can take every 8 hrs, called Levsin, and apparently that's what's helping with my severe stomach spasms. I've still got 2 hours till I can take it next, and believe you me, I'm counting them down.

This stuff is so bad, it gets in my arms and stuff, and it feels almost like I'm having a heart attack. And to those of you who automatically google the terms "drama queen" and "hypochondriac" when I say that, screw you. This shit hurts so badly, that's why I started panicking so much yesterday, when it WOULDN'T STOP. It's all up under my rib cage, it makes me nauseated, it runs around to my back and into my arms. So bite me. I didn't MAKE it do this. It just hurts like hell, and there's nothing I can do to control it. This is the first time I've ever felt anything like this. I have reflux, and I know exactly what that feels like, and this is NOTHING like reflux. It's like 5000x worse.

I almost wish they would have kept me in the hospital, because I don't know how long this is supposed to last, or if this is just some new, undiscovered, latent disease trying to stay dormant for my 30th birthday. Frigging goodie. And for me to WANT to stay in the hospital...that's a pretty big deal. It just gets so bad, and I can't control it, can't make it stop, can't turn it down, and it just burns and hurts and sears my insides. At least when they'd give me that dilaudid, the med would hit me almost immediately and squelch that burning sensation.

I guess hell has changed it's address. Now all bad people go to my stomach.

Ok, I have to go pack. I don't know how long I'm going to be out there, but I'm really terrified to be away from the hospital. At least I have this magic medicine - the Levsin. I don't have to pack big, though. It's not like I've been changing clothes or bathing or anything. *sigh* But I have my recheck on Wednesday, which I'm totally stoked about. As it turns out, I'm pretty sure he's going to have to put me in rehab, because my leg no longer functions of it's own volition. It just sort of dangles there, looking stupid. I can walk without my crutch, and I try to sometimes, because I don't want it to be completely useless when it turns out I'm actually going to need it after all.

All this for a damn kneecap. Just so you know, I told him to take the whole stupid thing out. He just kept mumbling something about "important" and "functions as a fulcrum," yadda, yadda, yadda - you know how doctors are.

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