Stiff-upper something

It seems as though my day began in tears and ended in tears.

He starts school tomorrow. I'm so proud. I'd always known he was better than for what he'd given himself credit. He's going to do good things and not stay in the same job forever. Maybe he'll find real happiness in this work. Not that he's not happy, now - I've just always known he was capable of so much more...or "world domination," as he put it.

I love him so much.

But, I have to let it go. I have to pretend...make believe it's all okay. Because it won't be any other way.

Heather and fam left for the Nickelodeon hotel thing in Orlando today, so me and Jack are on house-watch duty.

Then, my Anna.B informed me that some po-dunk assy ass doctor is trying to make her have colon surgery. I promptly gave her the name of Mom's doc, Dr. Brian T. Guffin. This man is a God amongst colons. I swear, when Mom was going through all that bullshit with her leukemia, this man was one of the most wonderful docs we ever encountered. God love her beautiful soul, she had to have a radical hemorrhoidectomy, and it was one of those things that no one would should have ever have to endure - I mean, EVER.

*ACK* I can't think about it, because it makes me cry to think about what all happened during that time.

*Not now* *Not now* *Not right now* *Put it in the box* *Not right now*

Anyway, this man was the tiniest gleam of wonderful that we encountered during that deplorable time in her illness. He's with Colon & Rectal Surgical Associates of Birmingham, PC. And, all puns aside, no shit, when you're dealing with something this humbling, embarrassing and debilitating, you can't just dick around with anyone. This is some serious shit. I don't know if anyone else has ever had heinie problems, but it's not cool.

Anyway, my Anna.B, I love you, girl, and everything is going to be okay. You know I've got your back(end), and I'll do whatever I can to help you out!

So, I realized, as I was going through some old music, that I'd never posted lyrics to one of my favorite songs.

(uh, oh - lyric time! THAT'S RIGHT! SO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!)

I heard Zero 7's Destiny for the first time in over a year, and cried and cried. The lyrics aren't true for me...but I wish they were:

Zero 7

Destiny

I lie awake
I've gone to ground
I'm watching porn
In my hotel dressing gown
Now I dream of you
But I still believe
There's only enough for one in this
Lonely hotel suite

The journey's long
And it feels so bad
I'm thinking back to the last day we had.
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

On a clear day
I'll fly home to you
I'm bending time getting back to you
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

I'll fly, I'll fly home
I'll fly home and I'll fly home

Then, I went back and reread (Cary Brothers, Ride - 5.22.07), which I should never, ever do...

It was during a time in my life, when I actually still had a choice to make things, as opposed to breaking them.

The night concludes with my grief, regret and sorrow falling from my eyes, mouthing the words to those two songs.

As Stina would say (Winter Killing), you're safer with me here, and you there.

I love you, babe. Good luck.