Okay, seriously, DON'T ever leave your server "tips" like this, unless you want to make an enemy for life, unless you're telling her how friggin' awesome she is. I can PROMISE you that we do NOT take your "advice" into consideration or even seriously. I can't believe what judgmental bitches people are, when you wait tables. I mean, for fuck's sake, who the hell grows up and says, "I want to be a server, so that people can treat me like TOTAL dog poo for 6-12 hours out every, single day!" Almost everyone I know has waited tables (reluctantly, no doubt) at some time in their lives, and nearly every person who ended up having to work in the same kinds of places I've worked (lower class establishments - not like Bottega), it's resulted in some of the most miserable experiences of their lives.
I may not be the best server in the world, but I'm all over my customers like scabies. (Probably not the best analogy, but whatev.) I watch them like a hawk. I bring all their food, the absolute second it comes up, I keep their drinks filled, and when they take the last bite of their entree or even LOOK like they're not interested in their food anymore, I swoop in with the check - I'll even wait for them to pay, if they start digging for their money. If things are getting hairy, and I've got 50 tables going at once, yeah, I'll bring your check early. But, it helps ME keep everyone straight, and I, personally, HATE waiting on my check. HATE IT. I hate when it seems my server has disappeared into the nexus, and I'm left with a bone-dry glass and no check. I'm constantly walking by my tables, so that if anyone needs anything, all they have to do is look at me or put their hand up to catch my attention. I am THERE for my customers. (And, yes, I'll divvy out hugs to those who need them.)
Apparently, this guy wanted me to burp him, change his diaper, and lay him down for a nap, before I brought his check. Now, he's just going to get a loogie or a booger in his food. Okay, okay, I'm totally kidding...................maybe. *raises eyebrow*
Lesson for the day:
DON'T piss off your server. 99% of the time, they're in a difficult place in their lives (which is why they're waiting tables), so they'd appreciate a little kindness on your end, too.