love / hate

I adore my family.

I just called my aunt, to fill her in on some of the crap of what's been going on, and her oldest daughter, Erica, answered the phone. She said that they were at K-Mart, having their picture made through that Olin Mills company, and apparently, Shelby, the younger of the girls, had brought her little friend Mariah with her, and so Mariah was going to have her picture made...with the family.

So Erica launches in: "I don't understand! We haven't had a whole family picture made since I was 10, and now THIS GIRL, who I don't even know, is going to be in our picture! What is the point of that? We're not going to buy it! It doesn't even make sense!," and I hear her talking in the background, "well, MOM, I don't even KNOW this girl! What sense is there in having her in a FAMILY PICTURE if she's not family??!? I mean, when we had our picture made with Jimmy, at least SHE was family! It's just WEIRD. She's not family, she's not going to BE family....mom, it's just weird, ok??? Hey, why don't I just walk out into the middle of K-mart and grab the next stranger I see, and say, 'Hey, you want to have your picture made with our family?' "

I'm laughing the whole time, by the way.

So, then she gets back on the phone and says, "Ok, well, mom's paying for the pictures, dad's having a stroke, and we're about to have the pictures made, so I'll tell her to call you back."

I just love my family more than anyone can ever imagine. I love the fact the we can drag complete, unintentional but laughable chaos into any situation imaginable.

Ok, so here's the breakdown on my broken-down car:

It got fixed...temporarily, thanks to a family friend. This is trivial, but thank you, Bill. I'll never have enough to pay you back for all you've done for me.

Anyway, the problem right now was a burned-out ignition coil ($300).

The problems they found when they actually got inside the car are as follows:
  • leaking oil pan gasket - $285
  • leaking distributor base - $525
  • change transmission fluid - $65
  • change oil
  • replace spark plugs - $75
  • replace front brake pads and machine rotors - $270
  • replace rear brake shoes - $195
  • replace fuel filter - $85
  • timing belt job (replace timing belt, water pump, front engine seals, external belts, valve cover gasket, & coolant) - $620
I don't really know what to say after all that, except that my tummy really hurts. I'm trying desperately NOT to have an emotional attachment to this car, but it WAS my mom's so.....

It's back at my house now, and it's going to stay there for as long as I can possibly manage. Since I've kinda gotten used to walking to work, there's really no reason for me to stop. It's going to be hell when the temperature drops, but I think it will last me long enough to decide what I'm going to do about all this. The general consensus is to get a new (used) car. But once I get a new car, I'm just inheriting IT'S problems that I have no idea about.

I'm not going to lie - I'd love to have a new car. Who the hell wouldn't? I want a Honda Hybrid more than I could possibly express. And, I'd be totally cool with a car payment, if I was done paying off my credit card. But since I still have something like 10 payments left, I really can't afford to do anything extraneous right now. Plus, as my health rapidly deteriorates, I continue to visit the doctor and take meds to even myself out.

I'm really selling myself, aren't I?

Well, on the upside, I'm definitely a cheap date. I ate a hot dog today. Here's it's picture:

Now, here it is compared to my soda:

These are going to be my meals from here on out, if I'm ever to start making ends meet again.

You know, though, I'm not bitter. Just frustrated. I'm trying really hard to get everything sorted out, but I always seem to get thwarted in some way or another. I mean, it's not like I'm this lavish spender. For God's sake, I've never even gotten the guts to buy myself a dresser, so my clothes are literally just strewn everywhere, usually covered by OTHER stuff or towels to keep the cats off them. I'm not a furniture-haver. I would love to be a furniture-owner, but I think you have to be a money-maker first, to have the other thing happen. I've only recently started purchasing my own clothes, so you know - baby steps.

So, I have my car back now. It runs. Just not long distances. I'm still walking. I'm also still in search of another bar job (or any high-paying side job that doesn't lead to me becoming some sort of prostitute...no, call-girl isn't acceptable either), so if anyone has any leads, please feel free to email me. I'm pretty good with computers, I'm a really fast learner, and I'm not above shoveling shit. I'm not above ANYTHING at this point (um, except the call-girl thing).

Things are going to turn around. They always do. I'm just really tempted to close my eyes until they do.

1 comment:

anna said...

Girl, I feel your pain!