1.06.2008

My brain has a cold

I'm tore up on cold meds right now. I don't know what I've got, but it's making my neck swell and hurt. I called my doc's office last week, and they never called me anything in.

Butts.

I feel floaty and weird, and my body feels numb. More numb than usual. Physically numb.

So, anyway, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorta dealing with a lot of confusion and that whole biological clock thing, so I'm trying really hard to stay away from people. Sorry I haven't been taking phone calls...or making them...or bathing. I actually cleaned a bit this weekend, trying to make it somewhat presentable in here. But, I DO live in an attic, soooo.... My place always looks like I should be living in a moving van. I don't think I'll ever truly unpack until I'm in my own house. I'd love to have something real, something on which I could rely.

Did I say "someone?" I didn't mean to. Although, I was thinking it.

My mind is a complete grey cloud right now. I can't even see inside it. It's all muddled and sick.






It feels like it's all scrambly and bewildered, consumed by strange, nothingness thoughts.

'Course, right now, it doesn't matter, because I'm captivated by the cartoons. Mmmmm....I love watching cartoons. I'm hungry, too. I wonder what I want.

I want a someone to shake up my life. I want my sleepovers back. I want to get up in the middle of the night and go to the gas station, just because. I want someone who inspires me to take advantage of the freedoms I have. I want to stay up all night, talking, staring...dare I say - cuddling. I want us to take off work for no reason other than laying in the bed or having a day to ourselves.

*sigh*

Ouch. My neck is bothering me.

Ok, the tv is calling my name. I must answer.

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