You know that feeling you get, when you love someone, and you're all giggly and weird, and you love them a lot, and you're excited and have all that super-great anticipation in your chest, and you have hope for a possible future, that you can possibly right all those wrongs and catch up on all that time you've missed out on...
...but then you come to realize that they don't feel the same way?
And then all you can say is, ".............oh....."
It's like deflating one of those jumping things. The air stops going in, and it starts to slowly collapse. It gets smaller and smaller and finally starts collapsing in on itself. It loses shape, until it becomes a lifeless blob on the pavement.
And then the part where everyone runs in and jumps on it and smashes it down.
I'm at the collapsing part.
I hate getting my hopes up for no reason. I hate having hope that's bashed against the rocks. I'd rather have no hope at all.
I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but remember when Tennyson wrote that thing about, "it's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all"?
That guy was full of shit.
Jesus, I'm emo. I hate being this way. But it's hard when you feel like you have so much to give to someone...but nobody wants it. Nobody wants you.
I guess I wasn't meant for this. I'm meant for other things.