Don't be disheartened, f!*ktard.

Beginning of another week. More time to just kill until another Friday.

I hate wishing my life away.

It was so nice to hear from him this morning, although I know there's nothing on the other side. I just mean that I know there's nothing there for him. He doesn't care about me like I still care about him.

Plus, I feel like I'm pushing. I'm being OVERBEARING.

I'm just going to sit back and chill. Not in a mean way - I just don't really know how to go about this in any indirect way. I don't really know how to do anything indirectly. What I'm saying is that I'm socially inept and cannot function reticently...in any scenario. And, even when I try, it just becomes me tripping over my feet, trying to "turn it into a sexy dance."

GAH! I had such a fantastic time with him on Saturday, that it makes me want to always have that...or have a lot of that.

But, as I venture in to what I assumed would happen, if I did indeed pursue this, I have to remember that it's not against me. It's just how it's become.

I'm such a f!*ktard.

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