*GROAN*
He doesn't REMOTELY feel the same way I do.
How am I supposed to get over this? How the HELL do you STOP being in love with someone?
This "friend" bullshit is going to kill me - I swear it.
I could go right back into a life with him, but I know he just doesn't see it that way. He doesn't FEEL that way about me. So, why are we still putting on this friend charade? WHY, DAMMIT???? He KNOWS how I feel! Is it just to keep me hanging? &=(
I'm no good at things left unsaid. That's totally not me. I'm all about laying all my fucking cards out on the table, then going from there.
I just can't understand why he so badly wants to be friends. It would be different if we were building towards something...but I just don't think that's it. I'm deathly afraid of being used - but I will let it happen. I don't guess that conveys much love - maybe more along the lines of obsession.
Okay, well shit. That's totally creepy.
Fuck. I'm just going to stand here and get used, until I'm all used up. I'm not breaking another mother-fucker's heart. Fuck that. I'm not into the fuck-buddy thing. Maybe once upon a time. But, it hurts me.
And, this is going to hurt me.
But, I'll do it.
Because, I'm desperately in love with him, and I have no other way to tell him.
Aishiteru.
...I miss you...
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