your motivation is MRSA, aaand action!

ok, new developments in the "jen butt saga":

i don't know that i ever said, but my culture for my abscess turned out to be MRSA. for those of you who DON'T know, that's really, really bad. in the healthcare industry, we treat it about like HIV. so, with that in mind, me = AIDS. let's move on.

in the past 3 days, i had a pimple pop up on the front of my right hip. at first, it started out like an ingrown hair. so i dug and dug and pushed and probed and ALMOST lanced it myself (because i'm all about doing pretend surgeries on people, even me), but then i remembered about my MRSA. i was like, "well, crap. maybe i better let someone look at it first." for once in my life, this ridiculous thing called a conscience actually kicked in when it was supposed to, and it WON! anyway, couple of days went by, and it's gotten bigger, redder, hotter, and looks pus-filled. it's gooooooood.

so, this morning, i stopped by the ER while we weren't busy during work. i told them of my previous encounter with MRSA, and only because i hear people saying it in surgery all the time. otherwise, i might not have been smart enough to mention it on my own. i'm so stupid. the things that i think should be linked, never are. and the things that are, i'm like, "no way! that's not even close to being in the same universe!"

i get triaged, show everyone my near-pubic area (it's always something below the waist - are we seeing a pattern yet?), and go sit on my lil stretcher. mind you, for the past few weeks, i have felt like COMPLETE and total crap, to the nth degree, with whatever formidable cliche you can think to add onto that. i really feel awful. can't think straight. can't stay awake. can't do anything right. anyway, you get what i'm saying.

so, doc robertson comes in, and i show him and as he's stepping forward, i say, "and i had a pilonidal abscess that tested positive for MRSA about a month ago," and he actually steps back and puts his hands in the air. i guess the gun i was carrying was unnecessary - sorry, bad mood, bad joke. he says, "woah, i have it, too, so i'm not even going to touch you." i swear, there are times that i feel like my face is like japanime. i was like "&=O, you have it??? " he said he has the same types of lesions develop on him, blah, blah, blah, so now i'm a "carrier of MRSA". so, i'm all freaked out now, he prescribes me doxycycline & sulfa, and i go call the employee health nurse. be it that i work in surgery, she has to document it (like my folder's not big enough), and now i can't TOUCH anybody.

i'm completely freaked out at this point. i mean, who the hell HAVE i infected?? is this like an STD? but i talked to heather, and she was like, "you know, you really haven't been the same since the 'cyst incident'. if this is systemic, maybe this is why you've been feeling so rough." makes sense, right? well, that's why she's my best friend and britney spears isn't.

so, i'm kinda in a fog right now. i'm really nervous about this MRSA thing. because i thought i knew a lot about it, but that's actually equivalent to nothing. at all. because i know it can be passed by blood, but once it crosses the barrier into your lungs, it becomes airborne, and i can cause an epidemic. i mean, if i WANTED to. i'm just not sure i'm ready for that responsibility yet. i'm just thinking it's crossed into my brain, and that's why i'm so RETARDED. but studies say no - MRSA does NOT cause retardation.

so, what does all this mean? well for starters, i have to stop giving under-the-table blood transfusions. i mean, i have NO idea how i'm going to make ends meet now. and secondly, i'm incredibly more susceptible to infections. as in, the thing on my hip wouldn't be a percentage of what it is, if i didn't have MRSA. but this thing is so big and red and hurting, it's actually hurting in my abdomen and leg, and no, i'm not exaggerating. so MRSA is basically the "drama queen" of infections.

oh, goodie.

you know, i can't ever stumble across a million dollars in an unmarked bag in the parking lot of a food world. no. i have to acquire strange diseases. i told heather, i'm just WAITING for one of us to get something that we actually have named after us. "jimmersitis" "polyharpery"

*sigh* it's times like this that i'm pretty sure God is playing a joke on me. i know that's not true, but i'm having that despondent "why me" feeling. blah.

oh, and i'll update more later, but at dr han's, they're scheduling me for a sleep study, and i have to go back and see my psych. all of this is just in case, because we can't seem to find anything else...except the bright red, gaping wound on my hip. which i conveniently forgot to tell him about. see, i'm so out of it, i can't even go to the doctor right. i get to the window to give them my insurance information, and i'm all, "i'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please."

one day.
one day, i'll get it together.
not today, though.
and not anytime soon.

pardon my english, but this shit is kicking my ass. i just got out of the shower, and i feel like i've run a marathon. but you know what else? i just woke up from a nap, and i'm about to have to take another one. you know, because i don't want to be tired...FOR SLEEP.


1 comment:

Tabatha said...

wow that's crazy. im sorry :(
hugs.(but not to close cause i dont want your cooties!!!!)
of course i hope you know im teaaaaaaaasing.
love you,