As usual, I'm really sorry about the lack of updates. It's been one hell of a weekend, one I'm looking to never again make the mistake of repeating during my lifespan.
Wow. When you set out to make a new life for yourself, if that's the path you're supposed to be on, it feels like a whirlwind.
No, I'm not done reading HP. I'm only on chapter 4. And, it's been an emotional rollercoaster from the very beginning. All I'm going to say is after chapter 3, I'm not so sure I'm going to be able to finish the book. I've squalled till my eyes are swollen almost shut.
In my "spare time" (of which I've come across the existence of negative time), we've been headed back to the apartment, where I've had my power cut off (I KNEW there was something I was forgetting...), into the blazing heat to continue to pack and move and sort and have complete and total comeaparts.....wait, that last part was just me. No, I'm not hormonal - bite me.
I managed to sleep 3 hours when I got home from the bar last night and woke up feeling refreshed, albeit tired and a little achy. As the day wore on, and we started working, I crashed like a 747. I got to the point where, every time I would hit the stairs, going up or down, my left knee (the strong one) would just quiver with every step.
We've made it down to nick-nacky things that never have a good place in which to be packed, along with my larger pieces of furniture (all of this under Heather's direction, ONCE AGAIN - she's been the moving nazi, 5 years running). Again, we've been moving everything into Heather's downstairs playroom until I can manage to find out more about my move in date. We had started a good "assembly line" of sorts, when I started crashing hard. Heather had left to take another load over to the house for her and Lee to unload, while Sean and I sorted and packed what we could and tried to get things moved down the stairs, to try to expediate things. It just got hotter, and I kept getting more tired and seemingly closer to the ground. I don't remember what I was doing, but all I remember was feeling really weak, then seeing this blinding flash of white, and the next thing I know, I wake up in the "cat hair chair" in a cold sweat, with my fists clenched tightly shut, allover body numbness, and Sean standing over me, pouring ice and water all over me, trying to cool me down.
I didn't even ask - I knew I had fallen out.
I cursed myself inside and out. Frankly, I hate this shit. I don't know whose body I have gotten stuck with from a past life, but this thing has got to go. As I've said before, you turn 30, you go to ground (see House of God).
Sean managed to get me to become coherent enough to get me down the stairs, into the car, and back to Heather's. I sat in the bedroom, bawling, digging through my box o' meds, trying to find ANYTHING - pain meds, sleep meds, depression meds - anything to make it all stop for a few hours.
Well, I managed somehow to get the right concoction. Aaaand, I'm back on my crutches for right now. From the thighs down, my legs feel like marshmallow peeps - no rigidity or control whatsoever. My shins and knee are aching so badly, I've had to pack a comforter underneath my legs to get the pain to subside while I try to rest.
Tomorrow, I'm going to take the money I made from the bar and more than likely, empty out my savings account, and rent a God-forsaken truck. I may not have the manpower, and it WILL take me the rest of the day, but I WILL make it out of that dementor of an apartment. - You like that? Like how I inserted that HP reference as an everyday adjective? Well, I do.
My girls are currently here with me, at Heather's, exploring, climbing all over me and everything that can be climbed upon, sniffing until I'm pretty sure they're going to hyperventilate themselves for somewhat useless information, and just getting acclimated. They've been my saving grace more than once. I know - crazy cat lady, and again, the offer to bite me still stands.
It's almost 10, so I have to trek upstairs to use the restroom, get some water and take whatever meds will get me through the night. I've got my last hellacious day for a while tomorrow, since I'll be attempting to get the rest of my moving done alone. Chris was nice enough to let me off work Monday, but I absolutely can't expect anything out of another person. I'm getting to be that kind of person that people hate to hear from (what do you mean, you're "getting to be" that way? Aren't you already? And to that, I say yes). I'm pretty sure I'll be alright - I just need to get a good night's rest, to fully recoup from the other night.
As before, I hope this bar thing works out, but I'm really scared to reinjure my knee, so I don't know. I may have to put off my dreams of becoming a real bar bitch/wentch until further notice. Jimmy no good with no sleepy.
As always, thanks for sticking around and reading. I know I'm in the middle of some pretty heavy stuff, but I still like to keep people as in the loop as feasibly possible. Being without internet and having your work block the only site you have to update this stuff becomes a REAL pain in the ass after so many days of the fight. But, eh - nothing I can do right now.
I hope all is well, everyone is doing good, things are working out for everyone, and life is generally good. There are always tiny, spontaneous, random prayers being shot in your direction, so if you think of me, it's probably because I thought of you first!
Love you guys. &=)