Bideos

Hey, I have a bunch of videos that I want to post.

I just thought I'd say that.

I found them last night, as I was going through my drive, looking for a couple of specific pictures. It was back when I had my butt surgery, and I was off work. I was totally bored, so I started pulling out a whole bunch of art and crap, and videoed myself talking about it, where I got it, what it means to me, etc. So, I watched a few, and...man, I am a WEIRDO.

They were so ADD, but when you see the state of my apartment, you'll understand. And, yes, it always looks like a landfill.

I made a couple of talking head videos last night, but I look super-fat, so I'll have to redo them. Plus, there's one I made that was actually a "talking to your bff-self," so obviously I can't post that one. Too much speculative and sensitive information in that one. It hinges on something that I'm hoping will happen, but I shouldn't be hoping will happen, I keep daydreaming it will happen, I have to stop making myself thinking about it happening, and even if it DOES happen, is it the right thing that should be happening??? (It has to be - it feels like it would be too perfect.)

So, that's where my mind will be for the next couple of weeks, I'm sure.

My mind is always occupied elsewhere these days, no matter what the subject. I don't feel as though I've written one substantial post in years. Apparently, I have to be suicidal to do that.

But, I'd rather discontinue my blog than to ever go back there, again. Ever.

I still have bouts of it, but I feel much better these days......just empty.


Okay, I have a super-serious head/neckache, and I'm going to go grab some lunchies. I hate our cafeteria. But, I'm too lazy to make my own lunch. Hopefully, that will change once I get a place with a real kitchen. Oops! There I go, hoping for impossible things again! Where's my unicorn and bag of money??!? &=D

Everyone have good days. It's lovely and rainy here, and all I want to do is curl up with someone in the bed and snuggle and sleep.


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