Kismet is beautiful

It's 1245p on Tuesday night, and I'm still awake. And, my nerves are absolutely shot.

I have no idea what's going on, but I'm incredibly uneasy.

I'm no clairvoyant, but something feels amiss. I need to NOT feel this way the evening before my aunt and uncle board a plane to come visit from Seattle.

I've got to get out of this fucking attic. This place feels like such a source of torment for me. I've never been able to pinpoint why, but...

Crap, I'm scared all of a sudden. There's a giant knot in my stomach.

I just took a couple of klonopin - surely, that will assuage my nerves.

Does it mean things, though? And, even if it did, does it matter? How would I compel the fates to bend to my predilection?

Geez, I'm getting in far too deep at 1a in the morning.

I get to go see Jack tomorrow, so I'll try to concentrate on that. Hopefully, I'll have him back in another week. I really miss him, and I'll be so glad to have him back home. It's funny how I only had him for a couple of weeks, but now that he's gone, I miss him like crazy.

Plus, the "other one" fills my thoughts a lot. It's really quite annoying, when there's nothing there. I guess I have to get used to that, although the longing that is always sure to follow is what becomes maddening.

Speaking of "other ones," I emailed my ex-husband to congratulate him on his marriage yesterday. He seemed really excited when he responded and inquired after everyone else. It seems as though most of my bridges have been rebuilt, after the Jimmy-quake / Jimmy-zilla invasion in the early 21st century.

And, I swear beyond all that is holy and good in my life, I'm so thankful it's over. Life actually IS good...but if you ever see me wearing one of those t-shirts, punch me.

Maybe my vexation is a sign that things are changing. I always say that, but then I can never recall if they do or not.

Also, I can't get Flight of the Conchords, Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros out of my head:

"Did STEVE tell you that? What's HE got to do with this? What kind of rapping name is Steve? Steve..."

And, babies. I have babies on the brain. BABIES! Babies. Babiesbabiesbabiesbabies. I'm having some serious baby-yearning issues. But the same serious "no daddy" obstacle. That's the thing of it, huh? I guess I could get someone else's weird-ass, three-tailed, half-headed sperm, but I don't have that kind of money. Not even for the fucked-up kind.

Stop thinking about babies.

And, everything.

Right now.

Here we go - this always helps....

Crowded House

Don't Dream it's Over

There is freedom within, there is freedom without

Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup

There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost

But you'll never see the end of the road

While you're travelling with me

Hey now, hey now

Don't dream it's over

Hey now, hey now

When the world comes in

They come, they come

To build a wall between us

We know they won't win

Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof

My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof

In the paper today tales of war and of waste

But you turn right over to the T.V. page

Hey now, hey now

Don't dream it's over

Hey now, hey now

When the world comes in

They come, they come

To build a wall between us

We know they won't win

Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum

And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart

Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof

Get to know the feeling of liberation and release

Hey now, hey now

Don't dream it's over

Hey now, hey now

When the world comes in

They come, they come

To build a wall between us

We know they won't win

Don't let them win

Haha, I actually miss the 80's. &=) What a simpler time.

*Now I'm listening to Tears for Fears "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." I seriously want to make a mix-tape for someone right now.*

*Mr. Mister, "Broken Wings," anyone?*

I remember when me and Mom were fighting about whatever having to do with something about me being a teenager and wanting to grow up and her NOT wanting those things to happen, she BURST into tears and yelled, "It was so much easier when all I had to do was put a band-aid on things!"

I've still never forgotten that. &=) And, boy, was that ever the truth of it all.

*Haha, "Careless Whisper" from George Michael! The first man I can ever remember in my early youth as being gay. Little did I know, my mom's best friend Mark Hill was also gay, but I would find that out later. Now, every time I hear George Michael, I think of Mark Hill - sorry, babe!*

*Mmmmm, Duran Duran's "Come Undone..." I can see Heather and I locking ourselves in the car to listen to them and smoke and bitch about stuff, out behind the school, during study hall - and that isn't even a memory from my life! Lmao!*

Incidentally, ALL 80's music reminds me of Heather, just because that was "our time" - that's when she and I grew up. It also reminds me of those photos that I have from Mom, Amy, Diane and Mark Hill going to the Prince concert, and Mom brought me back a bunch of these fake flowers they had dropped over the crowd during "Purple Rain."

*Everyone's song, "Lovesong" by The Cure. 311 did a wonderfully dulcet rendition of this song that was absolute musical LSD for the brain. That song still holds a special place in my heart. ♥*

*Okay, okay - I give it up to Nick Hexum. I gotta listen to their version. Wow, this song takes me back.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥. *

*U2 "With or Without You" - this will forever be labelled the "Friends" song, because I had never been consciously aware of the words, until the Ross & Rachel episode. Since then, I try to play it every time I find a jukebox...that and some sort of System of a Down! &=D Anyway, Joshua Tree was, imho, the best album U2 has done to date.*

*This one guys will never understand - Sade's "Sweetest Taboo." We got into this discussion the other day in the OR. The guys wanted to know if Sade was guy or girl, and why did we like this androgynous-sounding music. When I was growing up, Sade was like Mom's friend, Gail Caceres - she was foreign, beautiful, desireable, yet untouchable...this music has the same effect on me as that "Romancing the Stone" duology.*

*Speaking of Huey Lewis and the News (which I wasn't), how about "The Power of Love?" These Michael Douglas / Kathleen Turner flicks always had this strange, alluring power over me. It was so adventurous, so transoceanic - travelling to different countries, traversing through jungles to find your loved ones or rescue the damsal in distress! Hahaha!!! They still make me feel like that!*

*One more - "When the Going Get's Tough, the Tough Get Going!" starring the incredible Billy Ocean, one of the most phenomenal singers I've ever heard. Hahaha, I'm so delirious from my medicine, all I can do is sing and dance to this song! The only thing this reminds me of is HOW MUCH I USED TO WEAR THESE VHS TAPES OUT!!!! It was the adventure of a lifetime!!!!*

Haha, okay, guys - I'm just going to lay on the bed and laugh for about an hour, or until I pass out!

KISMET OUT!!!!!!

*MUAH*

The delirious and hallucinating Kismet in bed - poor, poor thing!

Ralph Gibson

I'm supposed to go tomorrow to visit Jack and see how well he's doing. I'm so excited - he's going to be so big, and I don't want him to be! He's still my baby!!!!

I just realized how much I talk about Ralph, Jack's and Jezzabelle's trainer, but I've never once posted anything on him. Plus, several people have asked me how to get in touch with him.

Here's his site:
Ralph Gibson's World of Dogs

And the address isn't "world's best dog training" for no reason.

A lot of people have pets (dogs, in specific) just to say they have pets. But, if you really want to have a happy dog, you should definitely consider Ralph as a very valuable investment. You all know I'm somewhat of a tightwad - I won't throw away money on just anything like this, especially services linked with human promises. Those are worthless to me.

Had I not seen Ralph and his dogs, and not been first-hand party to his training with Jezzy, I would have never believed it.

His mission statement:
At Ralph Gibson's World of Dogs, we strive to eliminate any confusion between animals and humans. We do not use any outside reinforcements such as shock collars, food, treats, drugs, pinch chains, bribes, force, intimidation or punishment of any kind. We have the best, most effective and humane training programs available anywhere, focused on enhancing the relationship between the human and the canine.

He doesn't train fighting dogs, he doesn't do parlor tricks (shake and roll-over are useless) - and he's able to effectively train out bad behaviors in both owner and animal. He says most of it is being able to read your dog, compose his thoughts, and make him understand that YOU are alpha, because dogs crave the pack mentality - they WANT someone to be in charge. But, if you're going to sit on the couch and let the dog do whatever, then he develops his own agenda. HE'S alpha.

He offers differing training levels - basic and advanced obedience, but you can move up to other levels, such as offensive and defensive levels. Obviously, me and Jack are starting with basic.

I tried to use some of the things on Jack that we used with Jezzy, but like he said, they're two different dogs (just like people!), and what worked for one, might not work for the other. He said that I had established a bit of a foundation, but now (in school), it was time to strengthen that foundation and build from there. I have a LOT to learn, but I'm really excited! Me and Jack are gonna be in school together! &=)

He really is a super guy. And, if you have a dog, if nothing else, you should talk to this guy, take your dog in for a free evaluation, and watch his demonstration. It's one of the most fascinating things I've ever seen. Plus, he has an absolutely stunning repertoire with dogs. If this guy wasn't a dog in his past life, then I don't know - he's incredibly in tune with the canine family.

Anyway, I just wanted to give Ralph his props. He's been really good to us, and Jack is going to do so well! I'm already proud of him, and I haven't even gotten to see him!

Yay, Jackson! Mommy loves you! &=)

Don't be disheartened, f!*ktard.

Beginning of another week. More time to just kill until another Friday.

I hate wishing my life away.

It was so nice to hear from him this morning, although I know there's nothing on the other side. I just mean that I know there's nothing there for him. He doesn't care about me like I still care about him.

Plus, I feel like I'm pushing. I'm being OVERBEARING.

I'm just going to sit back and chill. Not in a mean way - I just don't really know how to go about this in any indirect way. I don't really know how to do anything indirectly. What I'm saying is that I'm socially inept and cannot function reticently...in any scenario. And, even when I try, it just becomes me tripping over my feet, trying to "turn it into a sexy dance."

GAH! I had such a fantastic time with him on Saturday, that it makes me want to always have that...or have a lot of that.

But, as I venture in to what I assumed would happen, if I did indeed pursue this, I have to remember that it's not against me. It's just how it's become.

I'm such a f!*ktard.

Remember:

I can, and I will. I refuse to mess this up. And, I refuse to let anything go down that's not consensual.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can.

I need a hug...or a high-five.

But I could...

Every so often, I'll run across a song that will completely enrapture me. This is one of them. I can't stop listening to it, even if it IS depressing and doesn't apply to my life right now. It's still beautiful.

The Cardigans - Couldn't Care Less

Oh my heart can't carry much more
It's really, really aching and sore
My heart don't care anymore
I really can't bear more
My hands don't work like before
I shiver and I scrape at your door
My heart can't carry much more
But you couldn't care less
Could you

Your face don't look like before
It's really not like yours anymore
Your eyes don't like me no more
They quiver and they shift to the floor
My heart don't beat like before
It's never been this slow
No my blood don't flow anymore
And you couldn't care less
Could you

Could we stop and sleep for a spell
We can turn this ditch into a well
And send that old devil back to hell
But we really don't care do we

Baby let's stop and sleep for a spell
We can turn this ditch into a well
And send that old devil back to hell

Your back's not straight like before
You really shouldn't carry me no more
I'm much too heavy for you
I'm really quite a mess, yes
We just don't care anymore
We're crooked and were cut to the core
We're just not there anymore
But we really don't care do we
No, we couldn't care less
We couldn't care less
Could we?

Purple Rain by Stina

Stina Nordenstam performed this song. It has a totally different feel than the Prince version. It's absolutely wonderful. I just heard it and realized I'd never really listened the words. I really like them.

Purple Rain

by Stina Nordenstam

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted to one time see you laughing
I only wanted to see you laughing in the rain

Purple rain, purple rain x4

Never meant to be your weekend lover
I only want to be some kind of friend
I could never steal you from another
It's such a shame our friendship had to end

Purple rain, purple rain x4

It's such a shame our friendship had to end

Purple rain, purple rain x2

Just breathe..............

Mood: agitated

For some reason, words fail me today.

Yesterday, I got to see my old friend...and it was exactly as I'd feared. My entire being ached for him. But, I managed to restrain, and we had a really good time - or I did, anyway. I'm not sure about him. I was so bent on reeling myself in (and keeping myself calm), that I couldn't tell how he was. I swore to myself, also, that I wouldn't psychoanalyze all of his movements, my movements, every tiny action, every little word, every "sign" (of which I experienced MANY) and although I'm still fighting it, I know I can do this.

Heather said I shouldn't lie to myself, but I'm going to push myself to do this if it kills me. Just because I want him back in my life, in some form. I feel like I'm playing a never-ending game of arm wrestling. It's agonizing trying to just keep up my strength, but if I fail...well, then I fail.

I still get the shakes when I think about it all - about loving him, about being with him, about the things through which we went and carried each other (although, I know he did most of the carrying)...and about being in contact with him again. Haha, I guess I have cooties, huh? Boy cooties. *psh*

I still know that I could take care of him better than anyone in this world - no matter our differences.

Yes, I'm still in love with him. But, I'll never let it slip from my mouth. I have to do this - because I want to.

He used to be so understandably upset, knowing that there was the "other one" looming in my past, always there. He'd be surprised to know that the other one is gone now, replaced only by memories of him. It's completely insane. Now, he is my other one.

I gave up a lot when I walked away. I always do.

I fail at life a lot. I make a lot of the wrong choices. But, I'm doing so good this time around. I've had to make some tough choices and let some people go from my life, but it was worth it. It's worth it, if it makes me a better person.

But, not this one. I can't let this one go. If nothing comes out of it, friendship or otherwise, then that's the way it is.

I have to try, though. If I don't, this is one of those things that I can see filling me with great regret in the future.

Please, God, don't let me mess this up.

Tiny, baby addendum @ 2141p:

I talked to him tonight, and he said he had a really good time yesterday. &=) This is far superior to the rockstar. I'm not analyzing it - I'm just being really, really happy. I'm allowed to do that, right?

Michael & Mom

mood: sincere

Wow. I've been watching really old Michael Hedges videos, and they so take me back, to such a different time in my life.

I remember how he'd make his yearly pilgrimage to the Music Hall in Southside, and we'd always go see him. He actually started recognizing us after a while. I was fortunate enough to shake the man's hand many times, and even have the most wonderful photo made with him. (I know - I REALLY need to get a scanner. Donations can be made to...)

One of my absolute favorite songs is "Because It's There." And, it's strange, because in December of '97, I remember being at Jack State, turning on WBHM, just like I did every night before I went to bed and hearing that song, right before they announced that this was in homage (I use the haughty French pronunciation, "oh-MAHZH") of the exquisite guitar player who was Michael Hedges. He had been in a car accident, after visiting with his girlfriend, and apparently, when he was thrown from the car, he perished instantly.

I can still remember calling my mom and frantically explaining what had happened. She and I sat on the phone and listened to his music and cried for what seemed like an eternity.

It makes me happy to finally be able think of the touching times my mom and I shared...a decade after her death.

Mom, I'm incredibly envious of you. You've been listening to him play for God for years. What an honor.

And, Michael, even now, twelve years later, you're sorely missed.

To Greg, who introduced us, & Gordon, who still talks to me about these times.

I was surprised to learn that I was secretly in love with Albuquerque, New Mexico.

In the late 90's, I went with my ex-husband to visit his extended family in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where he was born. I've always hated everything to do with the west - the climate, the sand, the houses - everything. But, when I got out there, I was very pleasantly surprised! It was wonderful out there! The weather was incredible, the sites were much better than pictures, and the people were SO much more friendly than they are here! I was shocked and enchanted by this wonderful new city. &=)

&=)

You've always been the yellow in my sea of blue. I hope that you can remember how important you once were to me and understand that you still are. We had some rough times, and we did stupid things...but it's the past. Rehashing it would be unnecessarily painful and completely needless.

Thoughts of you assail my mind. Good memories, lovely feelings and hope abound.

No expectations.

Just in the here and now.

&=)

Improv Everywhere

One of my favorite things in the whole universe is the group called "Improv Everywhere." Everytime I get on their site to see what's going on, I start squalling. It's the simplest of reasons - random strangers get together for a commonality. Obviously, you can make some fast and incredible friends in that type of scenario. But, "togetherness" has always struck a certain chord in my psyche and just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (and sentimental to the point of crying).

Anyway, this one just swelled my heart to the point of almost breaking.

A New York couple comes out of their tiny courthouse wedding, to a surprise reception, complete with a wedding party (best man & maid of honor, as well!), guests, cake, presents & even a pedicab, in which they got to "drive off" after the reception was over.

And, it was all put together by strangers.

Now, if that doesn't get you in the gut...well...then you're just not me, I guess.


Check it out - it's really worth the ten minutes it will take to look it over:

Surprise Wedding Reception with Improv Everywhere

Bideos

Hey, I have a bunch of videos that I want to post.

I just thought I'd say that.

I found them last night, as I was going through my drive, looking for a couple of specific pictures. It was back when I had my butt surgery, and I was off work. I was totally bored, so I started pulling out a whole bunch of art and crap, and videoed myself talking about it, where I got it, what it means to me, etc. So, I watched a few, and...man, I am a WEIRDO.

They were so ADD, but when you see the state of my apartment, you'll understand. And, yes, it always looks like a landfill.

I made a couple of talking head videos last night, but I look super-fat, so I'll have to redo them. Plus, there's one I made that was actually a "talking to your bff-self," so obviously I can't post that one. Too much speculative and sensitive information in that one. It hinges on something that I'm hoping will happen, but I shouldn't be hoping will happen, I keep daydreaming it will happen, I have to stop making myself thinking about it happening, and even if it DOES happen, is it the right thing that should be happening??? (It has to be - it feels like it would be too perfect.)

So, that's where my mind will be for the next couple of weeks, I'm sure.

My mind is always occupied elsewhere these days, no matter what the subject. I don't feel as though I've written one substantial post in years. Apparently, I have to be suicidal to do that.

But, I'd rather discontinue my blog than to ever go back there, again. Ever.

I still have bouts of it, but I feel much better these days......just empty.


Okay, I have a super-serious head/neckache, and I'm going to go grab some lunchies. I hate our cafeteria. But, I'm too lazy to make my own lunch. Hopefully, that will change once I get a place with a real kitchen. Oops! There I go, hoping for impossible things again! Where's my unicorn and bag of money??!? &=D

Everyone have good days. It's lovely and rainy here, and all I want to do is curl up with someone in the bed and snuggle and sleep.


.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.If only.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Plink You

There's this new thing to combat "blogger's block," called Plinky, and I'm trying really hard to get it to post to my blog, with auto-updates. I got it to work on my Twitter, but not this.

It's making me miffed. Or, it's miffing me.

When was the last time you went 'woo hoo!' and meant it?

The last time I said "woo hoo," and meant it was just yesterday, actually. Chamblee was taking out a femoral nail, and he couldn't get the stubborn endcap off. Volgas scrubbed in and managed to pull it out, and I put my fist in the air and cheered, "WOOHOO!" (yes, I actually said "woohoo")

much updates to happen?...maybe?

Okay, someone remind me to post tonight. Lots of stuff going on.

Plus, I keep meaning to put up pics of Jack. If you're on Myspace or Facebook, I have some pics of him there.

I'm also still trying to find an apartment, but I'm being a little more proactive about it, rather than sitting in the bed.

And, I just drank a Dr. Pepper, and now I feel like vomiting. Dr. Pepper is gross. It's like a burp in a can. (well, why did you drink it? i don't know - i guess i was craving trademarked "Burp in a Can!")

It sucks, because every time I sit down to blog, I forget everything I need to say. I feel like I'm talking to Heather. Every time we get together, we forget all the things we're supposed to be telling each other. Still, we never have a problem talking! &=) That's always nice.

Everyone needs thoughts and prayers, but these people need it extra for a while:

my Grammy
Mindy & Dixie
Eric McBrayer's new baby boy
my good friend, Dina
everyone's job situations
Paul McDonald
John Martin

I think that's it. If I left anyone off (you or a friend), please let me know. I'm going to have to keep a list going, because I keep neglecting people in my thoughts, and it drives me insane.

Okey! Insanity out!

Super!

mood:  grinning

Well, guessy what?

&=D

Hahaha, I love this feeling. I'm wearing "stupid grin plastered across face" face.

So, last night, about 10p, my friend Paul called me to see if I wanted to hang out, because he was about to lose his mind, hanging out at home. I balked (A LOT), because I was actually about to settle in. After not too much of a fight, I agreed and got ready.

We went to Ruby Tuesday to get some food, drinks and sit and talk. Afterwards, we walked across the road and up the hill, with the intention of going to Bailey's, but strangely enough, the doors were closed and locked, and the lights were off. (On a Saturday night? Does anyone know - are they closed for good???) So, back down the hill, and as we're passing Dave's, I look in the window - too many people.

He asks if we try Blue Monkey, since they have comfy couches (and urine-soaked carpet), but when we pull up in the parking lot, it's totally packed, with one available spot. We pull in the spot, walk down the cobblestone, and he says, "nope. Not happening." So, back up the hill to the car.

We ended up over in Lakeview, and he pulled into the first place we passed, Zak's, which USED to be OT's. It was always a grossy, seedy dive, with not a lot of reputable people. Nice to know it really hasn't changed.

Anyway, we walk in, and as Paul pays our ways, I hear a crowd and a band gearing up to play. I almost told him to get his money back, because I wasn't in the mood to hear freaking "Sweet Home Alabama" played by some loser-ass, backwoods garage band. (Actually, I'd be happy if that song had never come into existence.) But, while Paul is paying, I hear the lead singer talk, silence....and then BLAM!!!!! They tore right into the first song. It scared me so bad, I was in the process of crawling over the table, into the man's arms who was taking the money. Nice way to throw yourself at someone, butthead.

Of course, I start the old lady screaming "WTF IS THIS??? WHO IS THIS? WHY ARE THEY PLAYING????"

Well, old ladies probably don't say that, but this old lady did.

So, we walk around the divider and there are about 20 shirtless school kids (ugh, shirtless, sweaty guys - NOT my thing, btw), and two shirtless band members (that's okay, because at least they're not touching anyone). But, the first person who caught my eye was the lead singer - Yummy! &=)

We walked to the bar to get drinks and sit and listen, because there would be no more talking at this point. Actually, we ended up texting and typing back and forth, because my eardrums were in current use. Paul was making fun of me, since I couldn't keep my eyes off the lead singer. It was so weird, though, because he looked and sounded SO MUCH like Serj Tankian from System of a Down (I'm supposed to marry him, btw), whom I idolize, but not in the bad way. More in the 'he's my super-favorite person of my super-favorite band ever' way.

They played what I considered a short set, but it was about 130a or so. Paul convinced me to walk down to the stage with him, although I'm far too frail anymore to mosh - my only regret of getting old. So, I stood there and did "chickenhead," (but not the bad kind) which I hate. *peck* *peck* *peck* *peck*

After it was over, Paul reached up and asked if I could have my picture made with him. I asked about a cd, and while we were waiting to acquire one, we started talking to him about the band. We told him that we totally just walked in on them, because we had nowhere else to go and ended up really, REALLY enjoying the music (and the sites, but I would have totally killed Paul a thousand times over, had he mentioned that). He was SO totally humbled and so thankful that we liked the band. Paul said he said some more things about being a server at a restaurant and stuff like that, but I was too busy gauging my eye movements, and if you think I'm lying, please ask Paul. I was trying to time them, so I wouldn't stare too long, or look too disinterested, or whatever. Man, up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-A-B-A-B-select-start. *groan*

So, dude finally brings a cd, and I said, "um, and you're signing this, right?" He seemed surprised - "Oh! Yeah!," and as he's writing, Paul leans over and says, "And, she's going to be very upset if you don't write your phone number on there."

He stands up and looks at the two of us - me, then Paul, then me, then Paul - and he really looks like he wants to say something...SOMETHING. But, Paul interjects, "Oh, we're just friends. We've been friends for years. We're not together." Dude was like, "Woah, I was wondering what...yeah, okay," and he proceeds to lean over and WRITE HIS PHONE NUMBER ON THE CD!!!!!!!!!!

I totally punched Paul in the arm like, 'don't say that,' but I almost crapped myself WHEN HE DID. I proceeded to then act spazzier than normal - no, actually, I was okay, but I'm sure it was because I had a chaperone, someone to back me up. I asked him his name - Steve - and he asked mine - Jennifer - and he wrote it down on his hand! &=) I don't know what that meant, but it made me happy anyway! Paul took our picture (dude, I'm totally larnin' you how to take a damn photograph), and he got his band packed up to go.

So, in between decent conversation with Paul, I was stroking about 'what about this Steve thing?????' Paul had to deliver to me CRIB NOTES on how to talk to a guy. Incidentally, I have NO beef about talking to anyone - guy or girl - about anything, unless it's someone that I really like. Obviously, I don't know if I like this guy - but in my eyes, he's a <+RAWK STAR+> *jingle jingle* so of course I'm going to have problems with bodily functions and stuff.

I know this is the kind of stuff that never works out for me, but it's absolutely adorable nonetheless. It's a cute story to tell my, er, granddogs one day (?).

So, I'm supposed to wait until Tuesday to call this guy, - Steve - and I'm supposed to make it short and sweet. I'm getting tips, so anything else anyone wants to add, please let me know. Because clearly, I only know how to be myself, and that's retarded. I don't believe in lying, but I also don't want to completely frighten the poor thing. Of course, if you saw him thrashing around up on stage, you'd think not much would scare a guy like that.

Meh, we'll see.

I'll be taking pointers from now until Tuesday at 3p, so any VALUABLE info you'd like to throw at me, go ahead. I've never tried to woo a rock star (from a garage band) before, so this will be interesting and possibly fun...or very, very embarrassing, which is also cool - but then I'll never be able to go out in public again. Oh well - it's win-win for me either way, right?

Yeah...stay tuned to see how THIS turns out. I know I'm planning to.

And, just for Paul - *teehee* (that was all I could say for the rest of the night - he said he was seeing a total different side of me.)

ps. Jack's at puppy school, so I'll update about that a little later! I miss me some Anpan!!!!

TTFN