long roads never cease

Originally posted Monday, May 15, 2006

long roads never cease
Current mood: accomplished

hi. i'm actually at work right now. i'm getting paid to blog. that's great. this job is great. oh, and i get paid to read, take dumps and literally stare into space. let's just say, we've been really slow. i love that new pic of me and b - we went to "gobs of fun", his kindergarten field trip, and we had such a good time!you know what? i'm kind of over the things that happened at work. i feel ok, which is good, since stuff was really starting to "chap my ass," so to speak. i was really concerned, because i wasn't able to let things go, and i've been SO GOOD about that lately! it was really getting on my nerves. but i've prayed about it, and it just fell off my shoulders, which is SO what i needed right now.i was also able to get rid of some of my writings, which has freed my brain up even more. every time i watched one more of them go into the shredder was like telling myself that i forgive myself each time. that's been a big thing that's been holding me back. not anymore, though. i'm totally in control. it feels good to be in control.no...it feels GREAT to be in control. still have some things to get sorted out (*sigh*), but for the most part, life is pretty shweet. i love my family, they love me, we've forgiven each other for a lot of our shortcomings, and we're always in the process of healing. we still have a lot to look forward to (baby micah, soon to be here!), and i hope we can continue to remain tight. i kinda came clean with the whole "i can never be my mom" feelings that have been troubling me, and i'm a little more confident every day that my family believes in me, something that's all too terribly important to me.anywheres, i'm gonna go. i've got a busy week ahead of me, and i'm somewhat looking forward to it...i say somewhat, because it still makes me tired to think about it. hell, rome wasn't built in a day. carpe diem and all that crap.(jeez, is it horrible thing that her voice STILL makes me want to scratch my eyes out and throw them at whoever might be standing nearby? grrr....oh, well - time to change rooms, right? just get away......)

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